Author Archive: Ross Gilbert

Things You Do That Unnoticingly Damage Your Child’s Health (Pediatric Counseling Discussion)


There are several rules to follow when it comes to parenting. However, every parent chooses to be different in their approach. As a parent, of course, you do your best in raising your kids. However, there are some seemingly minor things you do that can cause a pretty severe psychological damage to your children.

Based on pediatric counseling discussions, parenting is never easy, but it’s not enough reason to get distracted in handling your child’s psychological condition. Let’s take a look at these mentally destructive habits that BetterHelp arranged for us so we can try to evaluate the things we think are normal.

Always In A Hurry

Being a busy parent, there’s still a need for rushing because we somehow want to have enough time to get everything done. From home duties, after-school activities and personal errands, we are accompanied by a stressed-out grumbling. We might think that it’s normal, but it’s not. We somehow pass on the stress we have and let our kids carry the pressure for us. It affects our children in a way that they become worried about everything they do. In severe cases, it leads to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Our children tend to adopt the trait, and that impacts their emotional and behavioral state as well.

If you have kids that are three to eight years of age, their minds are ripe and ready for learning. Your family nights can consist of reading stories or books that activate their imaginations, or you can play games that encourage them to use math or spelling skills. — Wendy Rice Psy.D.


Disregarding Boundaries

Children need structure and stability, so our inconsistencies in setting ground rules can complicate the logic of discipline. Our constant flip-flopping decisions confuse our kids and may affect their mental reasoning area. For example, when your child asks for something and you say “no,” they’ll probably throw a tantrum. So for you to stop him, you tend to give what he wants. It will create a lasting impact on his personality as he slowly develops emotional characteristic such as patience, aggression, understanding, confusion, and self-awareness.

Feeling that parents are being dishonest can lead to resentment and anger. — Katelyn Alcamo, LCMFT

Inducing Panic And Fear

Fear has nothing to do with respect. As a parent, we often think that when our kids are afraid of us, they are bound to respect our decisions. However, it’s nothing like that. Screaming and shouting at our kids over a small mistake creates a negative impact on their emotional and psychological health. It will damage their critical thinking skills and might struggle to fix things around them. They might lose their confidence because of the constant fear of unintentionally creating a mistake. In the long run, they will eventually fear failure and will end up avoiding the things they thought they couldn’t do.


Choosing Technology As Reinforcement

It’s a fact that there are dangers in using too much technological stuff. However, because we want our kids to experience and feel safe in our comfort zone without disrupting us, we tend to ignore its harmful effects. Thus, we allow them to spend too much time on mobile gadgets and use them as a distraction so they won’t take too much of our time. In most cases, we often use them as reinforcement to the good things we ask them to do.

Retrospective studies of “single-incident traumas” find that both direct and indirect exposure, including media exposure, can significantly increase feelings of anxiety, fear and vulnerability in youth. — Alec L. Miller Psy.D.

As a parent, we commonly think that we know almost everything when it comes to our children. However, there are still considerations that we need to understand to avoid damaging habits we do that affect our children’s emotional and psychological development.

Depression Prevention 101: Develop Strong Bonds Through Couples Counseling




Getting married is one thing, but being parents is another.  It’s a great responsibility, and it’s essential that both couples are emotionally and mentally ready when they are to consider starting a family to prevent going through depression.

Raising disciplined kids is never easy.  It takes extraordinary patience, love, understanding, and creativity in dealing with every situation.  Counseling is vital to learn skills in controlling your anger, accepting the challenges parenthood brings, not failing to show empathy in every circumstance, and learning how to treat every situation constructively.

Not only is building a family about raising kids, but it also involves how couples are maturing with them.  Relationships will be more complicated because it’s no longer the two of you, but there are kids to consider, to raise with discipline, and to give your time.

Even though it might seem logical that counseling would be the way to go when problems occur, couples oftentimes feel their relationship is too far gone to benefit from help. — Maria Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W.

Strengthen Your Relationship as a Couple

There’s so much pressure when there are kids in the house.  Practice understanding and compassion to strengthen your bond as couples.  It will make you both feel less stressed by your busy schedules plus the kids.   Enjoy each other’s company and have intimate time together when kids are not around.  Try to fit into your schedule night outs or dates.  Try not to forget how to be romantic just like your first date. Saying “I love you” should become a habit as it can help strengthen the relationship.


Strengthen Your Relationship With Kids

Find time to bond with your kids by doing activities together.  You don’t need to feel pressured, thinking that bonding means you have to spend a lot of money.   Bonding time can be your time cooking together, watching movies, cleaning the house, or just playing board games.  A simple walk and picnic in the park is a refreshing way to bond.   It gives you time to talk about what’s happening with your kids’ lives.

You may also give them responsibilities, and you can involve them in some decision making (especially when it comes to budgeting), so they are aware of the situation, and there’s not much expectation on their parts.  Openness is a great way to gain trust and avoid misunderstanding.

The truth is it is no more a sign of weakness to seek marriage counseling than it is to go get a cast on a broken bone. No person is an island, as they say—human beings are not designed to make it through life on their own. — Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Strengthen Your Bond as a Family

A family that does things together stays happy together.  You don’t need to be the perfect family, but you can always have a good family life if you choose to.

Responsible parenting comes along with being an excellent partner to your significant other.  It will not be good for the kids to see their parents fighting and hurting each other.   Couples sometimes have disagreements, but you can do it in a way that children will never be involved and will never get pained so much that it can ruin their childhood.

If you think the marriage starts to sever, try to find ways to fix things up for the kids and for the family that you once dreamt of building.

Identifying and clearing landmines–deeper emotional well-springs of negative feelings–completes the therapy process. — Susan Heitler Ph.D.



Considering our advice to get couples counseling online – it is very convenient for busy working couples.  There’s no excuse not to make a healthy relationship a priority when you are thinking about your kids.   Strong bonds don’t just happen overnight. It’s a lifetime effort by married couples that they can teach by example to their kids.

Visit BetterHelp to know more about depression prevention tactics for the family.


Deep Within Online Therapy

The Empathic Ears That Listen

[Raising a Disabled Husband and Father]



God sometimes plays a joke on us, but his jokes are always for a purpose.  This poor man’s suffering brings us together in celebration.  – Breathe

Robin and Diana just got married, and they were both beaming with joy.  Just when Diana was about to have their first born, Robin was severely paralyzed neck down by polio.  It was never easy for Robin to be confined to the hospital and not being able to do anything.  But with Diana, she’s willing to do anything for Robin.   Hers was a love that is willing to conquer all.

The thing I place the most emphasis on—the integrity of the therapeutic relationship—is not diluted in any way because we are connecting through a screen. —  Melissa Stringer, LMHC, DCC, NCC

Finding Ways

Diana did every means to get Robin out of the hospital despite the doctor’s disapproval.   Her love for Robin triumphed over all obstacles, and she was able to take Robin home.  They lived together – herself, Robin, and Jonathan – in a home full of love and support.   Diana did not give up on Robin and Robin did not give up on his disability for himself, his family, and for others who were suffering the same fate as him.


Everything Happens for a Purpose

Not the hospital, the bed, or the chair stopped Robin from moving forward and finding a purpose in his life.   At first, he just wanted to be out of the hospital, then he aimed to see his son grow, be with his friends, to touch other people’s lives, and be of help to others like him.  He never stopped until his last breath.

Sometimes, it’s not the length of time we spend here that matters but what we do with our lives while we are here.   Robin never let his immobility become a hindrance.  He traveled many countries with his family and friends to spread awareness that people like him should not be a prisoner in the four walls of the hospital.

In my practice, I help individuals to wonder about their partners, to ask questions they’ve never dared ask, to sharpen their vision of self and other. — Mary-Joan Gerson Ph.D.



Family’s Support

He would not have been able to achieve anything if not for his wife and son’s love, understanding, patience, and support.   They were able to raise Jonathan well that he had accepted their family’s fate and was able to live with it. Jonathan became his mom’s shoulder to cry on when she needed one, the warm hands that calmed her when she was sad.  He was the strength of his father, the precious gem that made him smile and dream on, the hope that kept him going.


Severely Disabled Family Members

Robin can be your husband, parent, child, or sibling, but one thing is for sure – it’s not easy to take care of a severely disabled person.   It’s very tiring and exhausting, and their temper would just make you want to give up.

There are many Dianas and Jonathans out there. Though they were able to give their support to a family member suffering from the curse of disability, they, too, need caring and help.  They need someone who will uplift their spirits to be able to keep going.  They also need strength.   Diana and Jonathan were lucky to have each other and some friends to help them get through, but such is hard to find nowadays.

In either environment—on Skype or in-person—what matters most in terms of outcome is the fit between the client and the provider. — Jane Adams Ph.D.

Taking care of a disabled person won’t allow you to be out of the house for an extended period.   It keeps you confined in your home, too.    Online therapy is the answer to your longing need for a warm touch and an empathic ear that will listen to you.   Visit where their therapists are always willing to listen and give care, advice and support you need.

Family Therapy


Helping troubled teen through therapy is effective


Dealing with distressed teenagers not only causes disagreement between parents but can also lead to difficulty in responding to the child’s predicament. If a troubled teenager is causing family relationship interference, parents can always opt for family therapy which is proven to be quite a useful tool in helping not only the teens but the family as a whole. So what are the substantial lessons that parents can learn from while attending family therapy when dealing with and raising a distressed teen?

You are at the point where you don’t even bother to have a conversation because you know it’s going nowhere and discussions most times ends in a fight. — Maria Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W.

Family Therapy: The Importance Of Connection


Listening to family therapy suggestions helps you understand that no matter how occupied you are or how your day has turned for the worse, always have time to connect with your teens. In raising a troubled teenager, a typical reaction is to be inclined to turn the other cheek and walk away from your teen’s seemingly insignificant issues. However, always remind yourself that it’s during these years that problems are magnified and can immensely affect their well-being and overall performance.



As for experts’ family therapy advice, maintaining a strong and stable connection with your child should be as important as keeping a reliable Wi-Fi or network connection. Exert more effort in achieving efficient and honest communication while striving to preserve a good relationship with your teen.

A central ingredient in authoritative parenting is the ability of the parent(s) to deal with their own feelings and needs in ways that place the best interest of the child first. —  Johannes Kieding, LMSW

Teenage years are among the most terrible, most gruesome phases for the majority of students; therefore, it wouldn’t be easy for you or your child to get along and will eventually go head-to-head with each other. But encountering conflicts and disagreements do not necessarily mean that you shouldn’t reach out and spend some quality time with your child just to show how much you care and that you want to help your teen in his or her predicaments.

Don’t Ignore The Signs


In most family therapy discussions, it’s easy to ignore or disregard problems occurring inside the house with your daily roundabouts. Naivety often leads to the aggravation of difficulties especially with your teens, which is why it is essential to observe and recognize signs of distress before it ends in disaster. There are four signs that you can take note of before you engage in family therapy:


  1. Acting out or misbehavior due to underlying problems that require attention
  2. Engaging in alcohol or drugs
  3. Defiance of rules
  4. Depression



Having an idea when your teenager is in trouble is vital in unlocking the numerous factors that contribute to disturbing changes consistently happening. Parents should realize that underneath their teen’s oppositional or raging behavior is a person who is carrying a lot of pain. Identifying, acknowledging, and understanding these signs are helpful in empathizing with your teen’s emotional and mental problems. Allow family therapy to help you work on that.



family therapy helps in each member's emotional and mental problems.




Put Yourself In Your Teen’s Shoes


Understanding a person is difficult if you can’t see it from his or her perspective, and that too requires you to be as open-minded as possible. Just because you didn’t experience it when you were young doesn’t mean your teen won’t experience it too.

To effect change and healing, you must learn to interrogate and reject your thoughts and beliefs, even those you are convinced kept you safe, or at least safer, throughout your childhood and still have value today. — Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.

Reframing is an approach in family therapy that is often utilized by therapists. It lets parents view their teen’s situation or behavior separately from what they’re used to.  By doing so, parents’ perspectives are shifted to the real reason why their teens are acting in a particular manner.


Often, teens and parents can become unfastened by merely viewing a situation with fresh eyes; this is usually concluded by parents thinking or acting differently than they did before. And what’s good about reframing is that parents typically respond positively in a way that better acceptance and understanding occurs between both parties. Consider speaking with a professional. BetterHelp website is an ideal place to vent to a certified psychiatrist on your preferred schedule. They can assist you personally, with couples, or in family therapy sessions.



Solution-Focused Brief Therapy For Families

In traditional family therapy programs, the therapist will have to identify what is “wrong” within the family for having their “issues” and then attempt to fix them. With solution-focused therapy or SFT, that is not how it works. A solution-focused therapy program assists a family in recognizing their individual skills and strengths. That way, they could use it to formulate a solution to family problems and help them in reaching future goals.

If your problem involves others, having those others there with you in the room is a great way to cut to the chase and save time. More importantly, you have a safe and supportive place to get things off your chest, someone to help you both negotiate a solution, and a professional to help you both emotionally mop up. — Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W.



Explaining SFT For Families Further

Solution-focused therapy for families is a psychotherapy method that attempts to discover, improve and work on solutions constructed from the family’s mental (and physical) stamina, instead of acting on solving an issue, which focuses on the problems within the family and fixing their concerns. This therapy program is anticipated to be short-term, comprising of no greater than five meetings.

Moreover, the therapy is a great way to intervene initially if there are distresses within the family and it is best-used side by side with other types of therapy programs.

For example, Child #1 and Child #2 are always fighting. Let’s call it sibling rivalry. Their disagreements are causing great distress for the whole family, and so when they are pushed to do SFT, the therapist will not ask as to how the fights started. What the therapist will do is to ask them how to find a solution to end their quarrels right now. The goal is not to fight again, especially when it is petty since everyone in the family is affected by them. It will take a lot of patience and understanding not to speak ill so as not to cause fights. This is the process of looking for a solution.

Whatever the difficulties that are challenging a family, there are ways or exclusions that embrace the “seeds” of the family’s solutions to solving their troubles through SFT for families. Everyone in the family is participating in creating the goals of their psychotherapy, and with that, when all the goals are achieved, they will know when the program has done its purpose.

To understand more about SFT, read this article.

There is no shame in changing and growing, and your work is to have compassion and openness for yourself as a fluid human being, and to allow this process to take place. Jade Wood, MA, LMFT, MHSA

How SFT For Families Go On Every Session


The families will have to deal with how they are going to reach a specific solution to their ordeal during the first therapy session. They will not focus on how the problems sprung up in the first place which will then take up therapy time. In SFT for families, this is lessened. Families will then go straight on how to find solutions to their issues.

With that understood by all members of the family in therapy, the therapist will then ask questions like these:

  1. What is the ultimate goal of this family as to why you’re on treatment and why you’re working together?
  2. Do you remember the time when you have surpassed problems by working hand-in-hand? When was this and how did it happen?
  3. Are there good times in this family?
  4. What will you realize when you, your spouse, or any member of this family will direct himself to the life that you all want to possess?

By asking these questions, the therapist will then assist the family in creating an imagined scenario of an optimal solution. In that way, the family will look for ways to solve their issues with what they have with them – the value of understanding, patience, care, and love, for example. Ultimately, with this type of undertaking, the family will reach their goal. SFT is all about visualizing and working towards a solution to benefit the whole family.

Despite the considerable expansion of models of care that include caregivers, it remains the case that these services have substantial wait times and are often hard to access. — Dillon Browne Ph.D.

Periodic Counseling


Some families visit their therapist periodically to touch base on their SFT program. Nobody is perfect, and at times, families do get into disagreements. To keep everything aligned once again, families visit their therapist for this specific program two to three times a year. The important thing here is to reach the goal every time. And while there will be instances wherein the goal may seem hard to achieve, as a family, the focus is on finding a solution, always.

Counselor Answers: Does Forgiving Someone Mean You Must Take Them Back?

My sister married a man that the entire family instantly loved. John was not only gorgeous but also sweet and intelligent. According to my old aunts, he was a triple threat, and my sister would have been crazy to let go of him. So, when the guy popped the question, my sister said yes at once.

After the wedding, my sister and John moved to the UK because John’s company wanted him to head the new office that they built there. It was a massive step for my sister for many reasons. For one, she had never lived with a man before. She was also used to having a maid at home, but she would not get any help in the UK other than her husband. Aside from that, she had never stayed anywhere outside of our state for more than a month, and John was supposed to stay at his new post for at least a year.


Despite my sister’s qualms about the significant changes in her life, she went ahead and relocated to the other side of the globe. My parents were not worried about it because they had a lot of faith in John and believed that he would take care of my little sister with his life.

When The Problem Surfaced

Six months into the marriage, we learned through a friend that John was having an affair. He would tell my sister that he had to go to France for like a week every month, but the truth was that he would return to the US and shack up with his mistress. Our family friend saw him kissing the other woman at a restaurant and even took pictures of them because they could not believe what they saw.

What did I do, you might ask? Of course, I snitched on my sister. I was not a fan of waiting for everything to simmer down before letting the crap hit the fan. My sister deserved to know that the love of her life was fooling her.


Once I called my sister, though, I was more surprised by the calmness in her voice. As it turned out, the other woman was one of John’s ex-girlfriends, and he got her pregnant. My sister was only staying there in the UK to sell some of her stuff, and then she planned on returning home and divorcing her husband.

My sister arrived two days later, and my mom and I cried with her all night long. She was practically blaming herself for not seeing the issue early, but I told her to stop because the problem was John. It was not her fault that that guy was too good at hiding his affairs to the extent that the issues did not surface until it was too late. But then, a month later, John was standing in front of our parents’ porch, asking for my sister to take him back.

We did a little digging and found out that the other woman two-timed John, and he was not the father of her baby. When he learned about it, he wanted my sister again and babbled about how he had always wanted her to be the mother of his children.


What a load of crap, right? Still, I could not say that out loud because I did not want to tamper with my sister’s decision-making process. I knew that she still loved John despite everything; I did not know how much she wanted him back because we tried not to talk about relationships in the last few weeks since she returned.

To my delight, my sister thought of seeking professional help. She asked a counselor, “Is it okay to forgive someone I love and still choose not to take them back?”

When My Sister Found Clarity

The counselor replied, “Of course, that’s all right. You should never feel the need to accept someone just because you decided to forgive them. That’s especially true if trust has already been broken between you and that person, and you know in your heart that you can never trust them completely ever again.”


If only it were appropriate, I could have kissed the counselor right there and then. That’s the same thing that I wanted to tell my sister, but I could not because I was not the authority when it came to emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. The counselor was, and I was glad that we shared the same ideas about the matter. If she was a conservative type, she might have pushed my sister to give John another chance, and that’s wrong on many levels.

After a few counseling sessions, my sister faced John with her head held high – in court this time. She told the judge that she did not want spousal support, but she would be suing him for moral damage. John tried to beg for her forgiveness, to which she answered, “I forgive you. I just can’t let you get away from everything you’ve done to me.”

I could not have been prouder of my sister’s strength and resilience at that moment. It was a clean break from a toxic relationship, and that gave her peace of mind.


Counselor Answers: Is It Okay To Let Go Of Family Members?

My mother was much younger than her siblings, so by the time she got married, Most of my cousins were already young adults.


I never felt sad about it because I was the center of their attention whenever we would get together. I love dressing up, and they love doing my makeup and all that fancy stuff that little girls loved. Not to mention, they often brought gifts to me, which made me feel special.

Unfortunately, I was already a teenager when I realized that not all my cousins got along very well. Yes, they all hung out together and ran in the same circles, but they had issues with each other that did not seem apparent before. I only found out about it when one of my cousins, Julie, decided not to show up at a family gathering because my other cousin, Bella, would attend. Then, when the other adult asked the latter where Julie was, she replied with an eye roll. I did not need to be an adult to know what it meant.

As I grew older, I became closer to my cousin CC. She was ten years older than me, and I knew that my parents favored her over the rest because she was intelligent and wise. After college, CC got hired at a multinational company as a financial executive, which solidified my parents’ idea that she was the perfect role model for me. I was all for it because she was also very nice, and I saw her as my big sister.


By the time I finished college, CC was already married with two kids. Our relationship already changed from being a big sister-little sister to more of like best friends who could reveal secrets to each other without worrying about being judged. I would tell her about my boyfriend’s issues; she would tell me her parenting issues. But more than that, CC could not help but talk about getting fed up with a couple of our other cousins who seemed to have been taking advantage of her for years.

The Problem

One thing you should know about CC is that she became an orphan early. Her mother died in an accident when she was only 14 years old, while her father died of liver cancer before graduating from high school. My parents would gladly take her in gladly, but she wanted to go to a university closer to my mother’s sister’s house, so she lived there instead. That aunt of mine was the mother of the source of CC’s woes — Ellie and Jess.

Since CC was left with a comfortable amount of money by her parents, our cousins got used to her treating them wherever they went. They were how to pick a place, and CC would take care of the bill. However, when CC got married, she became wiser financially. This meant that she would not treat them as much anymore or go all over the country as they used to do.


Instead of understanding that CC’s priorities were different now, my other cousins accused her of changing negatively. They said that CC grew selfish and no longer cared for them. Mind you, they said that even after CC bought all the baby stuff when Ellie and Jess both had their babies.

Despite all that, CC was not angry at all. If anything, she was hurt, but she did not want to part ways with them. She was still trying to make peace with our cousins because we were family. But CC reached her limitation when our cousins began telling lies about her to our other relatives and making her look bad, to the extent that our grandparents ask CC if all the gossip they had been hearing were true. Because of that, CC wanted to know if it was okay to let go of family members who brought nothing but toxicity in her life.

The Answer

If I was talking from an emotional standpoint, I might answer no. However, since CC asked me from a counselor’s perspective, I would have to say yes.


I know that saying it aloud would make my parents gasp or cause my aunts to faint, but it was the hard truth that people rarely mentioned. Yes, it would be okay to let go of toxic family members, especially if they would not bat an eyelash even when they knew that they were already ruining your reputation with their lies. It would also be okay when you already tried to make peace with them, and they still wanted to continue in their destructive ways.

Would it be easy, though? Not at all. It would most likely result in awkward family gatherings or some family members badgering you about when you would talk to your cousins, but that’s a price that’s worth paying. At least, you would only have to hear that for a couple of hours tops. But when you let go of toxic relatives, you could get months of peace, and that’s what everyone deserves to have.

Final thoughts

My cousin listened to my advice, regardless of what other people told her. Did anyone make a fuss about it? Of course. But is CC happier now than ever? You bet.


Frequently Asked Questions About Relationship Anxiety

There are so many things about anxiety that I genuinely want to forget. Aside from the thought that it is a mental illness I have been battling for so long, it is also the primary cause of my depression. Some may say I might be overreacting about that statement. But the thing is, my anxiety is so severe that even meditation, self-care, therapy, and medication cannot seem to handle it. Of course, no one would believe that because therapy and medication should work best at least. But unfortunately, they don’t.


My anxiety is not uncommon. In fact, I know some people who are also dealing with the same thing. So far, mine is a pain in the ass because it ruins my life daily. It affects how I treat myself, how I deal with people around me, and how I handle my relationship. My anxiety is killing my overall well-being.

Understandably, I know I should get better not only for my sake but also for the sake of my relationship. I listen to people’s advice, listen to my partner’s suggestions, but the problem is not what they are trying to teach me. The issue here is that I can’t handle myself when it comes to extreme worries and fear that sometimes leave me out of control. I must say, I should give credit to myself for being too naive and stubborn all the time.

So as I browse the internet for some possible solutions, I found these frequently asked questions.

How do I calm my relationship anxiety? 

To alleviate your relationship anxiety as it develops, you should learn to be vulnerable gradually. Be clear in communicating what you expect from your partner. Do not mix up your real self with your anxious self. Please acknowledge that you are not in control of your partner or what he or she does.

How do I prevent anxiety from ruining my relationship?

Anxiety could destroy your relationship. But there are some basic ways to prevent that from happening. First is you need to identify your anxious feelings that acknowledge them – the earlier, the better. Practice your brain to live in the present moment. Take care of yourself and your needs; don’t focus on your fears. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes, not be too serious about life, or take yourself very seriously.

How do I subdue my fear of relationships? 

You begin by talking about it. At times, just designating a name for your particular fear can help in making you feel better about that fear. If you love your partner, but you know that you have commitment problems, try to discuss this with him. Tell him how you feel about the relationship and express your fears – what you are really afraid of making commitments.

What does it mean when you get anxious around someone? 

The socially anxious person is unable to calm down or take things easy around other people. He is very conscious of himself and scared of being criticized by others to the point that he goes out of his way to stay away from people and avoid talking to them or mingling with them. Social anxiety can result in physical symptoms like nausea, sweating, and trembling, especially in social events.

What triggers anxiety attacks? 

A major event or an accumulation of minute stressful life events may cause extreme anxiety – for instance, workplace stress, financial issues, death of a loved one, or personal relationship problems. Additionally, individuals with specific personality types tend to be more susceptible to experiencing anxiety compared to others.

Can anxiety come on for no reason? 

Triggers of anxiety can differ for every individual, but many of these triggers are common among those with the same mental health illness. Most of them claim that they have several triggers. However, for some, their anxiety comes to them without any warning – they emerge without any reason at all.

Does anxiety go away if you ignore it? 

Ignoring the existence of your anxiety doesn’t make it disappear at all. It only makes it worse, and the persistent thoughts will continue to linger.


How do you kill anxiety? 

You beat anxiety by first learning how to care for yourself and make it a habit to exercise self-care daily. Do not consume too much soda, alcohol, and caffeine. Try to eliminate fat from your daily diet and eat healthy and well-balanced meals. Take time to appreciate nature by going on outdoor trips, and while you’re at it, spend time there to meditate. Lastly, always try to get at least eight to ten hours of sleep every day.

Can anxiety ruin your life? 

Longstanding anxiety leaves a tremendous effect on a person’s life. If it is not controlled effectively, it can potentially destroy your life. You become its victim unless you commit to learning how to manage the persistent emotional ambiguity, indecision, and panic attacks that can make your life distressing and miserable.

At what age does anxiety peak? 

Individuals between 30 and 44 years old are among the most affected with anxiety, with over 20% of this age group reporting a certain anxiety disorder in their previous year.

Can you control your anxiety? 

Yes, you can. Each of us can find ways to decrease our daily anxieties and stresses through lifestyle modification. We should eat healthily, avoiding too much caffeine and alcohol, and spending time to relax and pamper ourselves.

What does anxiety prevent you from doing? 

In someone with anxiety disorder, the person constantly feels afraid. The fear is extreme and often debilitating. This kind of anxiety may result in a person wanting to stop doing what he loves to do or enjoys. It may even keep him from crossing the streets, getting inside an elevator, or even going out of the house in difficult situations.

What is the best job for an individual with anxiety? 

The top careers that are great for those with social anxiety include accounting, landscaping, firefighting, computer programming, dog training, and self-employed business.

Can anxiety prevent you from working? 

An anxiety disorder is not considered a physical disease. However, it impacts a person’s capacity to do physical work. Individuals with symptoms of shaking or panic attacks may have trouble performing tasks that need fine motor skills.

Is anxiety a mental illness? 

Infrequent anxiety is fine. However, anxiety disorders are not as simple as that. They compose a group of mental health illnesses that result in overwhelming and persistent fear and anxiety. Severe anxiety can cause you to evade family gatherings, school affairs, workplace settings, and other social events that may trigger or make your symptoms worse.



These answered frequently asked questions somehow hold the answer to my mental health issue. It may not be that perfect and detailed, but I am still thankful for this information. I would willingly want to know more about my anxiety and manage it before creating massive damage in my life.


Frequently Asked Questions On Treating Depression Without Medication




For a lot of people suffering from depression, medications can work wonders. Antidepressants, particularly SSRIs or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as sertraline (Zoloft) and fluoxetine (Prozac), are quite expensive, not to mention adverse long-term side effects.

There are several methods of countering depression symptoms that do not entail having to take prescription medications. If you are diagnosed with depression, you might want to try dealing with it through natural means, without taking medications, and supplementing antidepressants with other strategies. If you want to try these methods, there are a number of natural alternatives that you can learn by reading answers to some frequently asked questions about treating depression without medication. 

What is the best natural antidepressant?

Natural antidepressants include St. John’s Wort, Omega-3 fatty acids, and SAM-e, among others. If someone thinks that he has indications of depression, he should talk to his doctor first before he tries to take natural antidepressants.

How can I improve my mental health without medication?

You can try improving your mental health without taking medications by following these:

  • Stay active. Exercise releases toxins and increases the production of happy hormones.
  • Talk to someone you trust about how you feel.
  • Eat healthy and well-balanced meals.
  • Drink moderately.
  • Stay in touch with your family and friends.
  • Seek help if you think you can’t deal with your problems by yourself.
  • Do something that you’re great at.


What are some alternatives to antidepressants?

Some treatment methods that can be utilized as alternatives to antidepressants in managing your depression include:

  • Exercise
  • Talk therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Electric shot treatment
  • Self-help organizations
  • Lithium

What are general methods used to treat depression?

Three common methods used in treating depression include interpersonal therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. A blended method or a combination of the three is also often used.

What helps severe anxiety?

Long-term techniques that can help cope with your anxiety include:

  • Doing regular meditation
  • Recognizing and learning to deal with your triggers
  • Changing your diet to a healthy one and taking supplements
  • Embracing cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Keeping your mind and body healthy
  • Consulting your doctor about antidepressant medications

Does CBD help anxiety?

CBD is typically taken to manage anxiety. Studies show that CBD may also assist in both falling and staying asleep for those who experience insomnia. CBD may provide an option for managing various types of chronic pain.

What is the best non-narcotic anxiety medication?

SSRIs are among the most widely used forms of medication for anxiety and are frequently the first choice of psychiatrists for this anxiety relief. SSRIs have been shown to be very potent for anxiety. They do not cause memory abnormalities or affect psychotherapy, they have minor side effects, and they are non-addictive.

What helps anxiety naturally?

Some methods that help naturally decrease anxiety:

  • Avoid drinking too much alcohol.
  • Exercise regularly for your emotional and physical wellness.
  • Quit smoking.
  • Avoid too much caffeine.
  • Practice meditation.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Do deep breathing regularly.
  • Eat a healthy and well-balanced diet.

What to tell someone who has anxiety?  

Some comforting words that you can say to a person with anxiety include:

  • “Remember that I’m here for you if you want someone to talk to.”
  • “Are you all right?”
  • “We can deal with this together.”
  • “What you’re feeling right now will soon pass.”
  • “I know your triggers and fears are not a joke.”
  • “Please let me know how I can help you.”
  • “Just take your time.”
  • “Your cup of tea is waiting for you here at home.”

What anxiety does to a person?

Anxiety can stimulate your flight or fight response and causes a surge of hormones, like adrenaline, and other chemicals, into your body. This increases your breathing rate and pulse for your brain to acquire more oxygen for a brief period. This also helps you get ready to respond to an emergency or extreme situation properly.

Can anxiety ruin relationships?

Anxiety can place a substantial amount of strain on your relationships, which in turn can become very detaching. Family and friends may feel stressed out by your anxiety, too, because they wouldn’t want to see you miserable, but they do not always know how they can help you.

How do you calm down someone with anxiety?

Initially, you can stay with the person and keep him calm by asking him what he needs. Offer to get him his medications if the person usually takes some during an episode. Talk to the person in simple, brief sentences. Finally, help him slow down his breathing by telling him to breath along with you, and then slowly count to ten.

What should you not say to someone with anxiety?

Here are some things you have to remember NOT to say to a person with anxiety.

  • Oh, it’s not such a big deal.”
  • Calm down, will you?”
  • I do know how you feel.”
  • “I think this is all in your head.”
  • “Stop being so worried.”
  • “Just keep breathing is all.”
  • “Why are you very anxious?”

What anxiety looks like in a relationship?

You might feel as though you need to be worried so that you can protect yourself in the relationships you are in. However, this may be keeping you from feeling compassion and may even be susceptible. If your partner gets anxious, you might eventually develop resentment and respond in selfish ways too.

What’s it like dating someone with anxiety?

When you’re dating a person with anxiety, keeping in touch may be almost always unpredictable and unstable. The relationship itself could become a trigger for their anxiety. You may experience irritability or rage that does not seem to be based on the reality of your life experiences.



One crucial concern with depression is that it usually causes a person to withdraw, which will only further aggravate feelings of loneliness and seclusion. Even when you have no interest in going out or meeting friends, you must attempt to reach out in whatever means that is most convenient and comfortable for you. Choose some of your closest loved ones who are compassionate and understanding enough of your situation. If you try to do the things you used to, you probably won’t feel as happy and ecstatic as you did before, but going outdoors and spending quality time with those who love you can definitely help you improve and feel better.


How To Guard Children’s Mental Health Amid A Divorce

I always idolized my mother and dreamed of having the same love story that she had. She met Dad at the age of 21, got married at 23, and had me at 25. After 40 years, they were still together.



When I bumped into Tom and got to know him when I was 20 years old, I thought that that was it, that he was the love of my life. He was a sweet man who always bought me flowers and brought me to lovely places. He also promised so many things for our future family, so we decided to get married immediately when I became pregnant with our son.

The first few years of our marriage had its ups and downs. Sometimes, we would fight over petty things like throwing the trash or paying the bills. Other times, we would be like newlyweds on their honeymoon. I still believed that every couple went through such things and didn’t think it would ever end up in divorce.

However, it all changed when my husband and I fell out of love after seven years of marriage. There was no third party; we didn’t have massive fights before that. We merely found ourselves getting comfortable sleeping apart more than staying in the same bed. Then, another year later, we decided to separate and file for divorce.



Divorcing With Children Involved

It took some time before my now-ex-husband split up because of our two sons. We thought that it would be possible for us to live under one roof and pretend to be together, at least until our youngest child was off to college. But then we realized that it wasn’t right to fool everyone for too long, so the two of us headed to court and cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the divorce.

Throughout the whole proceeding, my ex and I tried to explain the new situation to the kids. Our youngest son was only three years old, so we knew that he was still too young to understand the problem. However, our eldest son was already seven years old, and he expressed his dissatisfaction clearly. He started acting up and picking fights at school and rebelling against everything we asked him to do.

When his father and I confronted our child after the nth time of being hailed to the principal’s office due to his unruly behavior, we couldn’t help but tell him how disappointed we were at him. But I cried so hard when my son said, “Well, you broke my heart when you got divorced.” I felt helpless as I knew what he wanted, but we could not give it to him anymore.



It was a blessing that my ex and I separated in good terms because we got to discuss our next steps without gunning for each other’s throats. We realized that the divorce might be ideal for us, but it hurt our eldest son’s mental health. So, we decided to consult a psychologist about it.

Safeguarding Children’s Mental Health Post-Divorce

Upon the initial consultation, we learned where it went wrong: the kids found out about the divorce when it was already finalized. The psychologist said, “You two had a chance to process your emotions while waiting for the court to grant your wishes. Your children, on the other hand, didn’t get that much time. You surprised them with news that’s undoubtedly terrible for them. After all, no one wants to come from a broken family.”

When we asked what we could do to make things right, here are the things that the psychologist suggested.



Do Activities As A Family

Since my ex moved out of the house, we didn’t find it necessary to do activities together. When the children were with him, they would go to baseball practices and watch movies. When they were with me, we would do other stuff. 

While it matters for the kids to understand that reconciliation was out of the question, we still had to make them feel that we were a family. Thus, at least once a week, we would get together and do group activities.

Stick With Routines Consistently

Another suggestion was to ensure that we were following the same routines with our children. For instance, if they needed to get up at 6 A.M. and be in bed before 8 P.M. at my house, they had to do the same thing at their dad’s home. 

As the psychologist explained it, this consistency gives the kids a sense of normalcy and allows them to cope with everything more smoothly. 



Stay Mentally Healthy

The mental health professional emphasized the significance of having mentally healthy parents. She said, “Though your son may be upset right now, it will eventually subside when he realizes that the divorce has transformed you into better individuals.” Because of that, my ex and I strived to show our kids that we were happier and more mentally stable than ever post-divorce.

Final Thoughts

Fast forward to 2020; I had been a divorcee for ten years. Neither my ex nor I remarried, but we had dated a few people over the years. Our sons were still hoping for reconciliation, but they finally accepted that their dad and I were no longer together. That’s all we could ask for.