Your child’s teenage years may be the most turbulent for you as a parent since a certain hard-headedness can emerge from them abruptly, and you’re not ready! This may be labeled as stubbornness or rebelliousness, but most of the time, these are just very typical of teenagers. It is a phase, and everybody has to live with it.
Millennials (born between 1980 and 2000) are quickly becoming the new parental majority, numbering 22 million with 9,000 babies born to them each day. — Amy Quinn, MA, MS, LMFT
As they grow up, teenagers may need some space to find their voice and person; therefore, what is perceived as a rebellious nature can just be a means for teenagers to express their identity. As a parent and a former teenager, you need to understand that fact.
With that, the following lists of some reasons as to why a teenager can be rebelling, just in case you forgot your teenage years and how you were back then. It can, hopefully, provide some clarity in understanding this phenomenon.
Teen Rebellion Is An Inevitable Phase In Everyone’s Life
During the teenage years, children will tend to veer away from their parents to find their identity and voice – apart from their family or their older siblings. This is normal because of the development in their pre-frontal cortex. It is used for critical thinking, and so expect lots of arguing or criticizing at this time. (If you remember this phase – I hate my parents and I hate my siblings – this is THAT phase.)
Parent’s Can Become Predictable
Being under your roof, your behavior and mannerisms have been ingrained into your child more than you think. You will become predictable, and your teen will go around it due to boredom. This can make them seek out more “exciting” ventures to break away from the monotony at home.
The way you conduct yourself in the presence of your children is likely to have a deep and lifelong impact on them. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW
Teens Want Freedom
Sometimes, we can’t help but heap expectations on our child that we forget that they are their person themselves. Teenagers would want to find their freedom to explore, do, and experience things to develop their individual identities.
They Need Attention
Rebelling can also be a means of seeking help. The teenage years can be very turbulent for growing youth, and they may be feeling lost or overwhelmed from expectations and greater responsibilities.
Teens Experience Biological Changes
Raging hormones can prompt teenagers to make impulsive decisions. Sometimes, predicting consequences is impossible for them, so they tend to act out surprisingly.
Learn to manage your own emotions so you will be in the best shape possible when you talk to your children. — Vikki Stark M.S.W., M.F.T.
They Undergo Social Pressures
You’d be surprised at how early peer pressure can start affecting your child. Children, as soon as they reach twelve, can be subject to peer pressure, and this may skew them from making healthy choices.
Teenagers Learn Through Experience
Some learn by looking or studying, but some learn by participating. Teenagers may want to try different appearances, experiences, and activities to learn about themselves. Don’t worry too much if the transformation can be jarring; most of the time, this is “just a phase” for them to better know themselves.
Perhaps the most significant takeaway from dealing with rebellious youths is to exercise understanding and patience. It’s only natural for us to question our inherent authority, and teenagers are even more wired to do so. Allow them some slack to find themselves and their place in the world, it’s just a part of growing up!