Family Issues

How To Resolve Blended Family Issues – Therapists Suggest A Few Ideas

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A blended family is a term used to name a family that remarries another. This is often called “stepfamily” too. It can get complicated when you are already familiar with your old family, and you have to adjust to a new one. Do not think of this as something that you will never get past within your life. Everything takes time, and so is adjusting to your new family. By applying some changes in your blended family, as suggested by therapists, everything will work out well with effort.

If there are issues between partners or family members in a blended family, you can resort to therapy. There are types of treatment that you can do to help you cope up and understand each other. It may be couples therapy, family therapy, or a one-on-one session with the therapist so they can help you address the issues in your blended family life.

How Can Your Family Benefit From Therapy

Therapy can guide you with things you should sort out first. Couples therapy can help parents figure out their roles and responsibilities in their blended family. They can be assisted on how to control discipline, parenting, and finances, so they both get equal parts in their family.

Children can express their worries or concerns in family therapy. They are the ones who are most affected by this change. Treatment will undoubtedly help you communicate with your children well. With that, just reassure them always that they are loved unconditionally even if there are significant family changes.

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Types Of Therapy For Blended Families

There are several approaches to therapies for blended families. Here are some that would genuinely help you:

Family Therapy. Families can attend such treatment as a group, or they can have separate therapy sessions for children and another for the parents. This way, it will not be overwhelming, and you can get to know how therapy works gradually.

Family Systems Therapy. Since a family is a system, this approach is looking into how the family interacts in a therapy session, in and outside of therapy. Therapists will understand how the particular family system works, where the problem focuses on, and how they resolve issues. They can now get help in the areas where there is a tension so that the whole family can function as one.

Family Attachment Narrative Therapy. This type of therapy lets you, as a family, attend a therapy session every day for two weeks. You get assisted on how you can talk to your child, form a bond, and be comfortable with each other, especially if you are a stepparent.

Family Narrative Therapy. This therapy separates a person from the problem. It may be a child that has some anger issues toward a parent. They will then be allowed to talk about their feelings and where their emotions are coming from until they are ready to have proper communication with their parents. 

Attachment-Based Family Therapy. This type of therapy is also aligned with attachment therapy. This helps children, especially teens, in blended families, share their emotions and thoughts. If their relationship is affected by outside forces, then they will need to be detached from that and have help facing the problem.

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Tips To Help You Transition In A Blended Family

Make family therapy an option. It is not just for the mentally sick, but it could be a tool to help you regain your relationship with your family. It will not be embarrassing to do something that will help heal all the issues in your family.

Planning. Before you start considering a blended family, you must plan first. You can talk to your partner and your children so they could understand the situation and it can also help you avoid future problems.

Keep in mind the non-residential parent. This is important, especially if your children would want to see their other parent. Explain this to your partner and tell your partner that you will still have to communicate with your ex. It is for the sake of your children, and your partner could also do the same.

Always pay attention to the children. It is better to reassure your children consistently. They may worry about their stepparent or be concerned that they will be loved less because of this new family. They only need to be reassured that no matter what, they will be loved and that you will answer any questions they have with all honesty.

These can surely help you keep in check your family, and if they are ready for the transition, they are about to go through. It will be hard at first, but if you are communicating well, and you are always assuring your family that they will always be loved and accepted, the transition will go smoothly. Always consider therapy if you cannot control issues so that you get the professional help that you and your family needs.

Helping Children Manage The Effects Of A Broken Home According To A Psychologist

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In times when marriages break apart, the problem confronted by parents would always be on how to deal with the kids. More than anybody in the house, when couples divorce, the impact of separation is still on the kids. Broken homes weigh heavily on children’s emotional condition, and thus, help from psychologists is of utmost importance.

The Result Of Broken Homes

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  • Disruption Of Children’s Daily Routine

The divorce of parents leads to changes in the standard set up of the household, regardless if the couple decides to live together or separately. In circumstances when custody cases entered, there is a need for children’s participation. Also, children’s academic performance also tends to be negatively affected. According to studies, kids from broken homes have lower scores on achievement tests.

  • Changes In Children’s Behavior

There is also an observation that children coming from broken homes show negative changes in their practice. They may become irritable, unsociable, impulsive, and selfish. They may also tend to seek for attention wherever they go. It comes in ways that are mostly annoying, menacing, and unpredictable. Parental divorce has also been one of the causes of increased dropout rates not only because of academics but also because of conduct.

  • Disorientation And Loss Of Identity

Once children are pulled out from the kind of family atmosphere that they have been familiar with, they may in shock or disorientation. It happens especially when they start alternating between spending time with their mother, then their father. They suddenly have no home with which to associate their self-identity and memories. These children end up seeking a sense of belongingness from external environments and other social groups.

  • Development Of Mental Health Disorders

According to VeryWellFamily, broken homes have also seen to increase the risk of mental health concerns in children. It extends up until their adolescent years and even through adulthood. For one, studies have found that depression and anxiety rates are higher for children whose parents are already divorced. These children are likely to feel alone and also lose their ground. They often spiral into their mental health issues with no one to actively guide them.

  • Trauma And Fear Of The Future

The memory of home breaking apart is not easy to forget. It tends to haunt children even as they grow older. Some of them also display fear of getting into relationships, marrying, and having children of their own. It is because they have such a negative memory attached to it. It gets difficult for them to try and build their own family lives moving forward. Some even develop deeply entrenched hatred up until their adult years.

The Way To Get Through

Understanding the results of a broken home is the first step towards helping children get through the process. Parents have to recognize that while it is not easy for them to break up their marriage, it is equally – or even more – difficult for the kids. They are the ones who will forever carry with them the memory of a broken home.

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After that, it would be helpful to note these ways to reduce the psychological stress on children:

  • Parents should make an effort to still become responsible co-parents even after the divorce. Both parties should be willing to extend continuous financial, moral, emotional, and physical help to their children.
  • Parents should be careful not to put their kids in the middle of the fight. They are not here to be made to choose who the better parent is. Children experience heightened anxiety levels when placed in this scenario.
  • Parents need to consciously make efforts to remain close to their children even after the divorce. They ought to make the child feel safe and secure even without a typical complete family like the others.
  • Parents need to maintain a physical presence for their children. They should still constantly monitor their children’s activities both at home and in school. Parents should still maintain effective discipline even after the divorce.
  • If need be, parents should also seek professional help in trying to raise their children to be emotionally stable. They may also attend parent education programs to further equip them in handling the issue with their children.

The breaking up of parents and homes does have far-reaching consequences not only on the couple but more so, on the children. So in cases when parents see divorce as the only workable option, both parents have to be ready to face the issues and challenges that come with it, especially for the sake of their children.

Ways To Deal With Family And Their Mental Health

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In dealing with issues within the family, how much should you excuse someone with mental health problems? You understandably know that when it is present, some family members are not their selves. There’s too much irritability, short-tempered, and aggression. There are even times these people can become mean and vindictive not only to you but to other people as well. You may acknowledge that those bad behavior or traits are part of the mental illness, but would you let it go? (more…)

Divorce And My Child’s Mental Health

 

 

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A long time ago, conspiracies started to spread that if parents are sad, the kids are sad too, which is why they have concluded that divorce does help both children and parents. It means that what’s best for mom or dad is also good for the kids. That is just an assumption. In reality, we know from tremendous amounts of research on divorce that children and their mental health suffer when parents split up.

Most kids think that their parents must work through any problem that they encounter. They see their parents as all strong and mighty – powerful enough to provide their every need. There is no problem in the world that parents cannot handle. Most children think that divorce or separation destroys their safety and the very foundation of their security, comfort, and well-being.

 

Studies On Divorce And Children

While every child loses security and family bonds, a child’s damaged emotional and mental health will possibly have more visible outcomes. Decades of research continue to show the negative effects of separation and divorce on children. And though sometimes it doesn’t mean that your child will experience these effects, it nevertheless increases the risk.

  • Children with divorced parents have a higher likelihood of being imprisoned for juvenile delinquency.
  • Children with divorced parents don’t make it well academically. They usually have low grades and don’t make it through high school.
  • They are more likely to have difficulty making a life of their own, as income of the custodial parent decreases considerably.
  • Children and teens from broken homes have a higher likelihood of engaging and drug and alcohol abuse.
  • Kids with divorced or separated parents are five times more susceptible to experiencing mental or physical illness, and their recovery is relatively slower.
  • The emotional scars from the past will haunt these children up until adulthood (some even after they have married).

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It is important to note that these findings are not universal to all children whose parents are divorced. However, we have now pointed out that these children do suffer from lasting emotional trauma.

 

When Parents Rebuild, Children Feel Abandoned 

Most parents, while going through and after a divorce, yearn for their own needs to be met – to be happy again and meet someone new. But while parents fix their lives separately, children are faced with confusion and sadness for their parents’ divorce. They feel abandoned and frustrated as their parents move on to find better relationships.

This situation becomes more magnified when one of the parents decides to marry someone else. Children feel that the new setup complicates the situation even more, especially if the new spouse has children of his own, as he will have instant stepbrothers or stepsisters. This then will cause other emotions like jealousy, anger, and alienation. Additionally, children almost always feel that they have an active and dynamic family life, and after a divorce, they find themselves as lost as ever. It’s like their grieving never ceases. Full recovery, research reveals, is close to impossible for children suffering from the divorce of their parents.

 

No Easy Answers

Sometimes, parents find an easy way out, and as this happens, children’s emotional damage will be with them for more than 30 years. While parents assume that their kids are strong and resilient, the trauma of divorce is a lot to put on their plate. On the contrary, some children are more resilient than others and are better able to cope with their daily stresses and challenges. They may show some violent or unpleasant behavioral patterns during the divorce process, but they can move past the hurt of losing their parents’ relationship. So resilience is something that children can or can’t have.

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In light of all the facts laid out about marriages heading for separation or divorce and that some of these problems can be saved, parents should probably take a step back before deciding to pursue the process. It’s not easy at all for the kids, but not easy for the parents as well. But if you think divorce is a solution, it might be difficult for your kids. They will think of this process as the enemy, the thing that has destroyed their precious family. Divorce should not be taken lightly for either parent. It should be thought of again and again. It doesn’t only damage the parents’ marriage bond, but it scars the children’s lives forever.

 

 

 

Finding Balance Between Family And Work

The norms have changed a lot over the years when it comes to the roles of every member of the family. If women were only supposed to serve their husband and take care of the children, they can now have a career and earn money on their own. If the main man of the house wants to work from home, no one can accuse him of being lazy.

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Nevertheless, moms and dads may find it challenging to juggle work and family at times. Both aspects of life are quite demanding, to be honest. Considering you cannot find the right balance between them, here are a few pieces of advice to you.

Clear Simple Things Before Morning Comes

The first idea to remember is that you have a limited amount of time in the morning. You are ideally a married individual with children; that’s why you won’t be the only person to get ready at home. The little ones need help dressing up; everyone has to have breakfast before going out too.

To prevent feeling rushed when you wake up, it is advisable to prepare what your family members need before bedtime. For instance, pack their lunches and put them in the fridge at night. Ask the kids to choose their clothes too so that they merely have to put them on in the morning. You should also prepare the ingredients for your breakfast early to speed up the process of cooking stuff later.

Prioritize Downtimes

Free times cannot always be available when you are a working parent. You may not be there whenever your kids need you to help them with a project or watch their performances. To avoid making them feel unloved, though, you have to make sure that your downtimes are only spent with kids.

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It entails that the entire time you are off duty, you look after the children. Say, prepare their breakfast and lunch, go on a trip, or even drive them to school. This way, they know how special they are in your eyes.

Get Rid Of Exhausting Yet Unnecessary Activities

Since you are already busy, you should learn to pick the activities that you’ll focus on during the day. Some projects that are worthy of your efforts, you see, while others should be taken for granted.

The reason why you ought to let go of exhausting yet unnecessary tasks is that they will drain the energy and time that you should be devoting to your family. You don’t want the kids to accuse you of having no time for them because of that. Hence, before accepting any job, you should take a step back and think if you genuinely need to do it.

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Find Shortcuts For Tasks

Now that the internet is accessible for many, some things can be bought or done online. Meaning to say, you can perform a few errands without leaving the house. E.g., buying groceries, shopping for clothes, et cetera. Thus, you have more time to spend with the family.

Avoid Looking For Perfection

Nothing is perfect in life. If you keep your perfectionistic views, it may be harder to put your family and work in a state of equilibrium. Just allow events to take place, and do not worry if some unpretty situations come up along the way.

Schedule Physical Activities

Doing workouts or any sport that catches your interest can take off the stress that being in the office gives you. It will be nice to allot a particular portion of the day for that. You may decide to do it with or without your children.

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Forego Electronic Gadgets

Turn off your smartphone, tablet or computer for several hours during the day. It helps you keep your calmness and sanity, especially if you want to steer away from work for a bit.

Start Meditating

You can never go wrong with meditation. This kind of practice lets you clear your mind, body, and soul so that you will be able to focus on more tasks with a positive outlook.

Manage Daily Life

Keep track of the activities you often do and think of which of those things you can minimize or completely stop doing. This way, your concentration to career and family will not be divided even further.

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Stop Feeling Neglectful

It is not productive to maintain that guilt feeling merely because you cannot be with your kids 24/7. Instead, you should strive to be the best parent in your little ways.

Search For Quietude

When things are getting tough, remember that you don’t have to act as if you are still okay. You may talk to your spouse and explain how you are feeling. In case your children are old enough to understand your words, you should ask them to tone down the noises they make since you don’t feel well. With all the work you deal with either at home or in the office, you deserve at least an hour of peace every single day.

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Final Thoughts

Finding a balance between work and family is not as difficult as some people may think. You don’t need to choose what’s more important between the two; that’s as ridiculous as the question of who you love more between your mom and dad. Follow the tips above to ensure that you’re on the right path.

Mental Health Problems – Does It Run In The Family?

Having a mental illness doesn’t limit its scope to only having stress and grieving issues. It is more than that. The risk factors for mental health problems primarily include family history as well. If someone in your family or distant extended blood-related persons has had a history of mental illness, then there’s a chance that you are more likely to have it.

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The Research

The most significant genetic of psychiatric research and study found that there’s a genetic link between several mental disorders. Some of these are attention deficit – hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Each condition includes childhood and adult origin cases. The research ended up with the conclusion because of the calcium-channel activity genes. It is where electrical charges get transmitted into the different structures of the body, particularly on brain channels.

The spark of the research came from the study of a small number of families that share common or same mental illnesses. Researchers found out that there are significant chromosome disruptions in each unit where the interference was linked to psychiatric diseases. However, the main breakthrough of the study is the mutation of the mental health condition. Researchers discover that genes don’t limit the scope of the findings. Instead, it reveals many descriptive syndromes that push toward the classification of well-versed disease cause.

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The Role Of Genetics

If again, you’re prone to having any kind of mental health issue, the time of transition can become hard. Depending on your history, medical illnesses can exist for more extended periods. However, though it seems to be a worse thing for some people, genetics are proven to have known benefits. It can contribute to the diagnosis and prevention of certain mental diseases, regardless of a particular sign and symptom. That’s due to its help in identifying molecular targets in the body.

Genetics plays a role in treating mental health condition. Though its progress seems a little complicated, it surely helps in the process of addressing an early stage diagnosis. From there, it can lead to several appropriate treatments anywhere in the next few results. However, even if researchers are sure to the kind of effect the genes are giving, there is still a limitation to its use. It may not complete a compilation from previous occurrences of psychological history. That’s due to the mutation of some of its several conditions, of course.

Even with the new findings, there is still a long journey ahead to fully achieve the projective benefits of the discovery. Though there is a scientific finding that backs up genetics, it still requires a specific outcome.

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Once mental illness tends to take hold, it doesn’t just go away on its own. There’s no chance that you can immediately pick yourself up from the dark side and force things to become better. The condition is a biological and medical issue that requires extensive attention and treatment. Although the exact cause of it is unknown, the situation is no doubt giving a person a hard time.

Prevalent Family Issues: Solutions to Save the Unit From Falling Apart

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One cannot prevent the occurrence of issues within family ties; therefore, to keep the unit from breaking down, one must result in long-term strategies and solutions.

Is your family held together by tape and glue? Do you feel helpless every time one of your family members argue? Are determined to do whatever it takes to keep a struggling relationship from ending?

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Is Your Kid Ready For A New Sibling?

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There are many things that you need to take into consideration when it comes to bringing a new baby in the family. For the first newborn, it will be easier since all your focus will be directed to your new son or daughter. However, once you have a second child, there is already a need to give your attention not only to the newborn but also to the existing child. Keep in mind that such event can be overwhelming for the kid, which is why you really need to exert some effort in helping him manage the new environment and accept the recent changes.

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Divorce Of Parents: What Happens Next?

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Nowadays, many countries all over the world recognize the validity of divorce. This means that it has become easier for married couples to end their union any time they want. Whatever the reason is, divorce gives spouses the authority to separate from each other on a permanent basis. When this happens, the entire family may turn upside down. The end of the marriage of spouses will not only affect their lives but also the lives of their sons or daughters.

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