Family Issues

Counselor Answers: Does Forgiving Someone Mean You Must Take Them Back?

My sister married a man that the entire family instantly loved. John was not only gorgeous but also sweet and intelligent. According to my old aunts, he was a triple threat, and my sister would have been crazy to let go of him. So, when the guy popped the question, my sister said yes at once.

After the wedding, my sister and John moved to the UK because John’s company wanted him to head the new office that they built there. It was a massive step for my sister for many reasons. For one, she had never lived with a man before. She was also used to having a maid at home, but she would not get any help in the UK other than her husband. Aside from that, she had never stayed anywhere outside of our state for more than a month, and John was supposed to stay at his new post for at least a year.

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Despite my sister’s qualms about the significant changes in her life, she went ahead and relocated to the other side of the globe. My parents were not worried about it because they had a lot of faith in John and believed that he would take care of my little sister with his life.

When The Problem Surfaced

Six months into the marriage, we learned through a friend that John was having an affair. He would tell my sister that he had to go to France for like a week every month, but the truth was that he would return to the US and shack up with his mistress. Our family friend saw him kissing the other woman at a restaurant and even took pictures of them because they could not believe what they saw.

What did I do, you might ask? Of course, I snitched on my sister. I was not a fan of waiting for everything to simmer down before letting the crap hit the fan. My sister deserved to know that the love of her life was fooling her.

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Once I called my sister, though, I was more surprised by the calmness in her voice. As it turned out, the other woman was one of John’s ex-girlfriends, and he got her pregnant. My sister was only staying there in the UK to sell some of her stuff, and then she planned on returning home and divorcing her husband.

My sister arrived two days later, and my mom and I cried with her all night long. She was practically blaming herself for not seeing the issue early, but I told her to stop because the problem was John. It was not her fault that that guy was too good at hiding his affairs to the extent that the issues did not surface until it was too late. But then, a month later, John was standing in front of our parents’ porch, asking for my sister to take him back.

We did a little digging and found out that the other woman two-timed John, and he was not the father of her baby. When he learned about it, he wanted my sister again and babbled about how he had always wanted her to be the mother of his children.

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What a load of crap, right? Still, I could not say that out loud because I did not want to tamper with my sister’s decision-making process. I knew that she still loved John despite everything; I did not know how much she wanted him back because we tried not to talk about relationships in the last few weeks since she returned.

To my delight, my sister thought of seeking professional help. She asked a counselor, “Is it okay to forgive someone I love and still choose not to take them back?”

When My Sister Found Clarity

The counselor replied, “Of course, that’s all right. You should never feel the need to accept someone just because you decided to forgive them. That’s especially true if trust has already been broken between you and that person, and you know in your heart that you can never trust them completely ever again.”

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If only it were appropriate, I could have kissed the counselor right there and then. That’s the same thing that I wanted to tell my sister, but I could not because I was not the authority when it came to emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. The counselor was, and I was glad that we shared the same ideas about the matter. If she was a conservative type, she might have pushed my sister to give John another chance, and that’s wrong on many levels.

After a few counseling sessions, my sister faced John with her head held high – in court this time. She told the judge that she did not want spousal support, but she would be suing him for moral damage. John tried to beg for her forgiveness, to which she answered, “I forgive you. I just can’t let you get away from everything you’ve done to me.”

I could not have been prouder of my sister’s strength and resilience at that moment. It was a clean break from a toxic relationship, and that gave her peace of mind.

 

Counselor Answers: Is It Okay To Let Go Of Family Members?

My mother was much younger than her siblings, so by the time she got married, Most of my cousins were already young adults.

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I never felt sad about it because I was the center of their attention whenever we would get together. I love dressing up, and they love doing my makeup and all that fancy stuff that little girls loved. Not to mention, they often brought gifts to me, which made me feel special.

Unfortunately, I was already a teenager when I realized that not all my cousins got along very well. Yes, they all hung out together and ran in the same circles, but they had issues with each other that did not seem apparent before. I only found out about it when one of my cousins, Julie, decided not to show up at a family gathering because my other cousin, Bella, would attend. Then, when the other adult asked the latter where Julie was, she replied with an eye roll. I did not need to be an adult to know what it meant.

As I grew older, I became closer to my cousin CC. She was ten years older than me, and I knew that my parents favored her over the rest because she was intelligent and wise. After college, CC got hired at a multinational company as a financial executive, which solidified my parents’ idea that she was the perfect role model for me. I was all for it because she was also very nice, and I saw her as my big sister.

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By the time I finished college, CC was already married with two kids. Our relationship already changed from being a big sister-little sister to more of like best friends who could reveal secrets to each other without worrying about being judged. I would tell her about my boyfriend’s issues; she would tell me her parenting issues. But more than that, CC could not help but talk about getting fed up with a couple of our other cousins who seemed to have been taking advantage of her for years.

The Problem

One thing you should know about CC is that she became an orphan early. Her mother died in an accident when she was only 14 years old, while her father died of liver cancer before graduating from high school. My parents would gladly take her in gladly, but she wanted to go to a university closer to my mother’s sister’s house, so she lived there instead. That aunt of mine was the mother of the source of CC’s woes — Ellie and Jess.

Since CC was left with a comfortable amount of money by her parents, our cousins got used to her treating them wherever they went. They were how to pick a place, and CC would take care of the bill. However, when CC got married, she became wiser financially. This meant that she would not treat them as much anymore or go all over the country as they used to do.

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Instead of understanding that CC’s priorities were different now, my other cousins accused her of changing negatively. They said that CC grew selfish and no longer cared for them. Mind you, they said that even after CC bought all the baby stuff when Ellie and Jess both had their babies.

Despite all that, CC was not angry at all. If anything, she was hurt, but she did not want to part ways with them. She was still trying to make peace with our cousins because we were family. But CC reached her limitation when our cousins began telling lies about her to our other relatives and making her look bad, to the extent that our grandparents ask CC if all the gossip they had been hearing were true. Because of that, CC wanted to know if it was okay to let go of family members who brought nothing but toxicity in her life.

The Answer

If I was talking from an emotional standpoint, I might answer no. However, since CC asked me from a counselor’s perspective, I would have to say yes.

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I know that saying it aloud would make my parents gasp or cause my aunts to faint, but it was the hard truth that people rarely mentioned. Yes, it would be okay to let go of toxic family members, especially if they would not bat an eyelash even when they knew that they were already ruining your reputation with their lies. It would also be okay when you already tried to make peace with them, and they still wanted to continue in their destructive ways.

Would it be easy, though? Not at all. It would most likely result in awkward family gatherings or some family members badgering you about when you would talk to your cousins, but that’s a price that’s worth paying. At least, you would only have to hear that for a couple of hours tops. But when you let go of toxic relatives, you could get months of peace, and that’s what everyone deserves to have.

Final thoughts

My cousin listened to my advice, regardless of what other people told her. Did anyone make a fuss about it? Of course. But is CC happier now than ever? You bet.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Relationship Anxiety

There are so many things about anxiety that I genuinely want to forget. Aside from the thought that it is a mental illness I have been battling for so long, it is also the primary cause of my depression. Some may say I might be overreacting about that statement. But the thing is, my anxiety is so severe that even meditation, self-care, therapy, and medication cannot seem to handle it. Of course, no one would believe that because therapy and medication should work best at least. But unfortunately, they don’t.

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My anxiety is not uncommon. In fact, I know some people who are also dealing with the same thing. So far, mine is a pain in the ass because it ruins my life daily. It affects how I treat myself, how I deal with people around me, and how I handle my relationship. My anxiety is killing my overall well-being.

Understandably, I know I should get better not only for my sake but also for the sake of my relationship. I listen to people’s advice, listen to my partner’s suggestions, but the problem is not what they are trying to teach me. The issue here is that I can’t handle myself when it comes to extreme worries and fear that sometimes leave me out of control. I must say, I should give credit to myself for being too naive and stubborn all the time.

So as I browse the internet for some possible solutions, I found these frequently asked questions.

How do I calm my relationship anxiety? 

To alleviate your relationship anxiety as it develops, you should learn to be vulnerable gradually. Be clear in communicating what you expect from your partner. Do not mix up your real self with your anxious self. Please acknowledge that you are not in control of your partner or what he or she does.

How do I prevent anxiety from ruining my relationship?

Anxiety could destroy your relationship. But there are some basic ways to prevent that from happening. First is you need to identify your anxious feelings that acknowledge them – the earlier, the better. Practice your brain to live in the present moment. Take care of yourself and your needs; don’t focus on your fears. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes, not be too serious about life, or take yourself very seriously.

How do I subdue my fear of relationships? 

You begin by talking about it. At times, just designating a name for your particular fear can help in making you feel better about that fear. If you love your partner, but you know that you have commitment problems, try to discuss this with him. Tell him how you feel about the relationship and express your fears – what you are really afraid of making commitments.

What does it mean when you get anxious around someone? 

The socially anxious person is unable to calm down or take things easy around other people. He is very conscious of himself and scared of being criticized by others to the point that he goes out of his way to stay away from people and avoid talking to them or mingling with them. Social anxiety can result in physical symptoms like nausea, sweating, and trembling, especially in social events.

What triggers anxiety attacks? 

A major event or an accumulation of minute stressful life events may cause extreme anxiety – for instance, workplace stress, financial issues, death of a loved one, or personal relationship problems. Additionally, individuals with specific personality types tend to be more susceptible to experiencing anxiety compared to others.

Can anxiety come on for no reason? 

Triggers of anxiety can differ for every individual, but many of these triggers are common among those with the same mental health illness. Most of them claim that they have several triggers. However, for some, their anxiety comes to them without any warning – they emerge without any reason at all.

Does anxiety go away if you ignore it? 

Ignoring the existence of your anxiety doesn’t make it disappear at all. It only makes it worse, and the persistent thoughts will continue to linger.

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How do you kill anxiety? 

You beat anxiety by first learning how to care for yourself and make it a habit to exercise self-care daily. Do not consume too much soda, alcohol, and caffeine. Try to eliminate fat from your daily diet and eat healthy and well-balanced meals. Take time to appreciate nature by going on outdoor trips, and while you’re at it, spend time there to meditate. Lastly, always try to get at least eight to ten hours of sleep every day.

Can anxiety ruin your life? 

Longstanding anxiety leaves a tremendous effect on a person’s life. If it is not controlled effectively, it can potentially destroy your life. You become its victim unless you commit to learning how to manage the persistent emotional ambiguity, indecision, and panic attacks that can make your life distressing and miserable.

At what age does anxiety peak? 

Individuals between 30 and 44 years old are among the most affected with anxiety, with over 20% of this age group reporting a certain anxiety disorder in their previous year.

Can you control your anxiety? 

Yes, you can. Each of us can find ways to decrease our daily anxieties and stresses through lifestyle modification. We should eat healthily, avoiding too much caffeine and alcohol, and spending time to relax and pamper ourselves.

What does anxiety prevent you from doing? 

In someone with anxiety disorder, the person constantly feels afraid. The fear is extreme and often debilitating. This kind of anxiety may result in a person wanting to stop doing what he loves to do or enjoys. It may even keep him from crossing the streets, getting inside an elevator, or even going out of the house in difficult situations.

What is the best job for an individual with anxiety? 

The top careers that are great for those with social anxiety include accounting, landscaping, firefighting, computer programming, dog training, and self-employed business.

Can anxiety prevent you from working? 

An anxiety disorder is not considered a physical disease. However, it impacts a person’s capacity to do physical work. Individuals with symptoms of shaking or panic attacks may have trouble performing tasks that need fine motor skills.

Is anxiety a mental illness? 

Infrequent anxiety is fine. However, anxiety disorders are not as simple as that. They compose a group of mental health illnesses that result in overwhelming and persistent fear and anxiety. Severe anxiety can cause you to evade family gatherings, school affairs, workplace settings, and other social events that may trigger or make your symptoms worse.

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Takeaway

These answered frequently asked questions somehow hold the answer to my mental health issue. It may not be that perfect and detailed, but I am still thankful for this information. I would willingly want to know more about my anxiety and manage it before creating massive damage in my life.

 

Frequently Asked Questions On Treating Depression Without Medication

 

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For a lot of people suffering from depression, medications can work wonders. Antidepressants, particularly SSRIs or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as sertraline (Zoloft) and fluoxetine (Prozac), are quite expensive, not to mention adverse long-term side effects.

There are several methods of countering depression symptoms that do not entail having to take prescription medications. If you are diagnosed with depression, you might want to try dealing with it through natural means, without taking medications, and supplementing antidepressants with other strategies. If you want to try these methods, there are a number of natural alternatives that you can learn by reading answers to some frequently asked questions about treating depression without medication. 

What is the best natural antidepressant?

Natural antidepressants include St. John’s Wort, Omega-3 fatty acids, and SAM-e, among others. If someone thinks that he has indications of depression, he should talk to his doctor first before he tries to take natural antidepressants.

How can I improve my mental health without medication?

You can try improving your mental health without taking medications by following these:

  • Stay active. Exercise releases toxins and increases the production of happy hormones.
  • Talk to someone you trust about how you feel.
  • Eat healthy and well-balanced meals.
  • Drink moderately.
  • Stay in touch with your family and friends.
  • Seek help if you think you can’t deal with your problems by yourself.
  • Do something that you’re great at.

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What are some alternatives to antidepressants?

Some treatment methods that can be utilized as alternatives to antidepressants in managing your depression include:

  • Exercise
  • Talk therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Electric shot treatment
  • Self-help organizations
  • Lithium

What are general methods used to treat depression?

Three common methods used in treating depression include interpersonal therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. A blended method or a combination of the three is also often used.

What helps severe anxiety?

Long-term techniques that can help cope with your anxiety include:

  • Doing regular meditation
  • Recognizing and learning to deal with your triggers
  • Changing your diet to a healthy one and taking supplements
  • Embracing cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Keeping your mind and body healthy
  • Consulting your doctor about antidepressant medications

Does CBD help anxiety?

CBD is typically taken to manage anxiety. Studies show that CBD may also assist in both falling and staying asleep for those who experience insomnia. CBD may provide an option for managing various types of chronic pain.

What is the best non-narcotic anxiety medication?

SSRIs are among the most widely used forms of medication for anxiety and are frequently the first choice of psychiatrists for this anxiety relief. SSRIs have been shown to be very potent for anxiety. They do not cause memory abnormalities or affect psychotherapy, they have minor side effects, and they are non-addictive.

What helps anxiety naturally?

Some methods that help naturally decrease anxiety:

  • Avoid drinking too much alcohol.
  • Exercise regularly for your emotional and physical wellness.
  • Quit smoking.
  • Avoid too much caffeine.
  • Practice meditation.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Do deep breathing regularly.
  • Eat a healthy and well-balanced diet.

What to tell someone who has anxiety?  

Some comforting words that you can say to a person with anxiety include:

  • “Remember that I’m here for you if you want someone to talk to.”
  • “Are you all right?”
  • “We can deal with this together.”
  • “What you’re feeling right now will soon pass.”
  • “I know your triggers and fears are not a joke.”
  • “Please let me know how I can help you.”
  • “Just take your time.”
  • “Your cup of tea is waiting for you here at home.”

What anxiety does to a person?

Anxiety can stimulate your flight or fight response and causes a surge of hormones, like adrenaline, and other chemicals, into your body. This increases your breathing rate and pulse for your brain to acquire more oxygen for a brief period. This also helps you get ready to respond to an emergency or extreme situation properly.

Can anxiety ruin relationships?

Anxiety can place a substantial amount of strain on your relationships, which in turn can become very detaching. Family and friends may feel stressed out by your anxiety, too, because they wouldn’t want to see you miserable, but they do not always know how they can help you.

How do you calm down someone with anxiety?

Initially, you can stay with the person and keep him calm by asking him what he needs. Offer to get him his medications if the person usually takes some during an episode. Talk to the person in simple, brief sentences. Finally, help him slow down his breathing by telling him to breath along with you, and then slowly count to ten.

What should you not say to someone with anxiety?

Here are some things you have to remember NOT to say to a person with anxiety.

  • Oh, it’s not such a big deal.”
  • Calm down, will you?”
  • I do know how you feel.”
  • “I think this is all in your head.”
  • “Stop being so worried.”
  • “Just keep breathing is all.”
  • “Why are you very anxious?”

What anxiety looks like in a relationship?

You might feel as though you need to be worried so that you can protect yourself in the relationships you are in. However, this may be keeping you from feeling compassion and may even be susceptible. If your partner gets anxious, you might eventually develop resentment and respond in selfish ways too.

What’s it like dating someone with anxiety?

When you’re dating a person with anxiety, keeping in touch may be almost always unpredictable and unstable. The relationship itself could become a trigger for their anxiety. You may experience irritability or rage that does not seem to be based on the reality of your life experiences.

 

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One crucial concern with depression is that it usually causes a person to withdraw, which will only further aggravate feelings of loneliness and seclusion. Even when you have no interest in going out or meeting friends, you must attempt to reach out in whatever means that is most convenient and comfortable for you. Choose some of your closest loved ones who are compassionate and understanding enough of your situation. If you try to do the things you used to, you probably won’t feel as happy and ecstatic as you did before, but going outdoors and spending quality time with those who love you can definitely help you improve and feel better.

 

Developing Resilience In The Family

 

 

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Most, if not all, of us want to keep our child protected from harm and struggle. We would be more than willing to carry their burdens for them just so they won’t be hurt. They would be much happier, right? Nope, usually not.

Kids are happy when their parents help them develop their capacity to manage and overcome life’s difficult experiences. This kind of help is needed when your children are at a very young age. As they grow into adulthood, parents who have instilled resilience will see how their teenagers recover from their failures, deal with stress, adjust to changes, and cope with heartbreak and loss.

Resilience

Resilience is actually inherent. It is rooted in the ways that children have learned to reason and respond to whatever problems, big or small. They are confronted with. The path to resilience arises ultimately from their supportive bonds with their parents, teachers, and significant others. These bonds are the networks of strength when children go through stressful circumstances and hurtful emotions. When the youth develop a strategy in life that sees tackling problems as a crucial part of their success, they begin to learn how to be resilient. The family plays an essential role in cultivating this value.

Why It’s Important For Children To Be Resilient

Studies have revealed that resilience is important for humans to thrive, and the ability is required in order to develop stable and mentally healthy young adults. It’s the thing that allows children to rise from daunting experiences with positivity and self-confidence. We see resilience in kids when we notice how determined they are and how they are able to deal with their problems with courage and tenacity and cope with their various issues in school and life in general.

 

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The capacity of someone to surpass trials in ways that preserve or enhance his well-being plays a crucial role in how children attain their personal and academic goals. Resilient children have a sense of authority over their own fates. They are aware that they can seek help from others when they necessary, and they are willing to take the initiative in finding resolutions to their problems. Parents, on the other hand, enable resilience by providing help to their children so that they will learn to consider different strategies in going through and overcoming adversity. They are also a source of strength and support, encouraging their kids to decide for themselves.

Here’s a list of tips you can begin practicing today to develop your child’s capacity to recover and surpass life’s various challenges.

 

  • Learn from previous mistakes. Often we want our children to be perfect, so we try hard to teach them not to commit errors. However, studies revealed that as children grow, they learn much more when they make mistakes. Disappointments are a daily encounter for them – with homework, peers, and sports, among others. The family helps build the foundations of resilience in the youth when they view these experiences as prospects for learning and improvement.

 

  • Recall stories of heroes. Most often, kids and even adults see heroes as mere legends instead of representations of human beings who were triumphant in breaking boundaries that used to limit them. By recalling and learning about these heroes in books and online, families encourage children to contemplate surpassing and succeeding in their own obstacles.

 

  • Establish healthy and positive relationships. Out of the ten best strategies of building resilience listed by the American Psychological Association, establishing positive connections was at the top. Parents should be role models in practicing healthy relationships skills and help children gain more self-confidence. This also promotes resilience, among other equally important values.

 

  • Be involved in difficult conversations. From time to time, including teens in family issues and other sensitive topics will enable them to open their minds and learn to decipher right from wrong, eventually guiding them into developing resiliency. You can ask them to express their feelings and opinions, especially when the conversation entails them to feel grief or sadness.

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  • Nurture your children’s strengths. A range of character strengths and values will be crucial in identifying our capacity to confront life’s difficult situations. Among the greatest ways for parents to understand these strengths better is by initially looking into their own. They might consider doing a self-evaluation, assessing which characters are their strongest and which ones are their weakest. Then they will know the kind of person they are and what they need to improve on. Once this is done, they can now take gradual steps in fostering character building in their children.

 

  • Take care of your emotional well-being. Emotional health is a strong contributor to your child’s ability to manage and deal successfully with his problems. It plays a crucial role in his capacity to be resilient in every aspect of his life. When parents support their children, provide them with support and quality time, cultivate kindness and forgiveness, and encourage them to believe in what they can do, they are ultimately boosting their emotional health and helping them increase their capacity to survive the many seasons of life and its storms.

 

I Hate This Lockdown – I’m Losing My Sanity Due To My Toxic Family

I don’t usually rant about stuff, especially if it involves my family. Honestly, I do not intend to talk about them because I don’t see the point of letting others know about my family issues and life struggles. However, I feel motivated to express my thoughts right now because that is a way to get rid of the emotional and mental burden I am currently having. Thus, I want to share my story and hope that others could also learn from my experiences.

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What’s The Issue?

Ever since this COVID-19 began, each member of my family became toxic. I do recognize the stress and all the frustration, though. But what I don’t understand is their attitude towards each other amidst the situation. Most times, I am losing all my patience with their immature traits.

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Understandably, with “no work no pay” policy, I can sympathize with my mother’s agitation towards my dad. My mom is handling all the pressure in the house, and she is trying her best to stay in her balance. We are five in the family, and my mom takes care of us all the time. But sometimes, things can get a little too overwhelming that she breaks down. That’s fine. It’s normal, I guess. But what I don’t like about her is when she finds herself caught up with all the stress, she blames my dad. She forces him to find ways to make things better. And when he can’t do it, she insults him. My mom often throws negative and degrading words out of her mouth. And she doesn’t seem sorry for it. If I were to judge it, that’s not helpful. Not only my mother insinuates future arguments, but she also tears down my dad’s self-esteem. I have read in a BetterHelp article, low self-esteem can cause a lot of emotional and mental troubles.

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As for my dad, I guess people would assume that he’s the victim. But for me, he’s toxic as well. My dad is not irresponsible when it comes to financial support. In fact, he knows he must provide us everything we need, especially during this lockdown. But what I hate about him is he never tries to help my mom. I mean, he knows how stressful it is for her to take care of three children and the house. But my dad often ignores my mom’s requests for help. It is as if he’s telling her through his actions that everything in the house is my mother’s sole responsibility. My father seems tied to the idea that putting food on the table is the only liability he needs to fulfill. Honestly, if I can comment on that, I can say that my dad is somehow immature in handling unpredictable situations. He’s incapable of even handling his own well-being.

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Writing this, I was hoping I can never find reasons to complain about my siblings. But apparently, I have a lot of things to say about them. I am the youngest, and being on that birth order is frustrating. Both my brother and sister is a pain in the ass. Instead of helping the family, they are the ones who often ignite the argument inside the house. They believe they have the right to act the way they want. They blame our parents for not having this and that. It’s so unreasonable. No one of them tries to help my dad and mom because they think parents should do everything. They don’t even bother asking our parents if they are okay. They’re both teenagers who don’t put a little care for their family.

People might say I am overreacting, but I am not. Our family is toxic when together, and this lockdown is making everything worse. I just hope we can survive all of these uncertainties.

The Added Stress To Your Life Due To The Pandemic

Understandably, your life is stressful enough with school, work, family, and relationships. But with the pandemic, everything becomes more stressful and challenging to manage. Sometimes, even the best ways you do won’t seem to work anymore because things are too much to handle. In unfortunate cases, instead of finding reasons to fight the situation, you get too tired and weak emotionally, physically, and mentally. Then, you chose to give up and don’t care at anything at all.

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Getting Too Tired Of Thinking For Better Ways To Live

With all the limitations that you can do, you soon become more indulge in overthinking. The thoughts in your head take a toll on you because of your desire to live better despite the world’s health condition. Honestly, that is okay. Yes, it is hard to convince yourself to stay strong continuously, but you have to. Approaching the pandemic stress with a practical, calm perspective is essential. It is vital to remind yourself that the situation is only temporary. That no matter how hard the struggle is, you will still make it through this. Of course, the process is going to be exhausting, but it should not stop you from having the motivation to live.

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Too Much Worry For Other People

As the situation of this global pandemic arises, it is okay to feel concerned about other people. It is part of human nature to care for one another. However, too much worry can increase the stress hormone in your body. In some cases, the concerns and anxiety you feel suppress the capability of your whole immune system. So the best way to keep yourself and others away from getting infected is to stay home. If you want to get emotionally connected with your loved ones, you can use text and chats. Use your time as well to make plans on what adventure and activities you and your loved ones can do once the pandemic is over.

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The Financial Stress And Burden

Since all non-essential employees in different companies are ordered to stay home, may people are now out of work. Understandably, going without a paycheck brings up a lot of financial troubles that can lead to all sorts of mental and emotional damage. Honestly, there is nothing much you can do with a monetary matter in this time of crisis because the situation needs you to follow safety protocol. For now, all you have to do is understand the condition and value of every available help. You need to learn to appreciate what you got and use it properly. If you think your supply is insufficient, find an alternative. Just avoid complaining so you can focus more on resolutions.

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Interrupted Routines And Normal Schedules

As much as people understand the value of social distancing, it is not a secret that all the preventive measure is causing interruptions in people’s life routines. These include going to school, work, gym, restaurant, and so on. Admittedly, you find it hard to adjust to this situation. Sometimes you get fed up with all the limitations that force you to change your habits. But regardless of the annoying, unexpected changes in your life’s routine, you should still comply with it. Make use of your time to look for productive things to do. That way, you can ease yourself from feeling bored and alone all the time.

Getting Too Concerned About Physical Health

Of course, you should be worried about your physical health during this COVID-19 outbreak. But you have to understand that getting excessively anxious all the time is also dangerous to your mental health. Yes, it is crucial to keep your physical health safe. But you should not ignore your mental health as well. Instead of stressing yourself, make sure to incorporate a healthy lifestyle by exercising and eating healthy.

Cultivating Children’s Self-Esteem: Need-To-Know Fundamentals

 

Self-esteem is a huge factor in the way a person feels and thinks about oneself. People who have established self-esteem carry positive outlook on life, are resilient to conflicts and changes, are accepting of themselves, and most importantly, they are oozing with confidence.

 

Possessing a high level of self-esteem does not necessarily mean a person is self-centered or arrogant; it mainly says that a person is aware enough about oneself to appreciate his or her worth in taking on any responsibility while not compromising care and respect for other people.

 

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Effect Of Increased Self-Esteem On Kids

Children who have insurmountable self-esteem are generally happy and are efficient at socializing with friends and colleagues. They do not hesitate in helping those who are in need and are more likely to engage in community service or volunteer in charity events. Wherever they go, children with a tremendous amount of self-esteem enjoy social gatherings and are not isolated from people. These children are not afraid to play alone or with other kids in their neighborhood. Their creativity is boundless, and they are not hesitant to share what they think to their family and friends.

A healthy coping strategy would be to start studying early, so she has plenty of time to go over old quizzes and homework assignments, and ask for extra help from the teacher. But if the student is focused on protecting her self-esteem, she won’t do any of those because she won’t want to look or feel “dumb.” — Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D.

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The Importance Of Self-Esteem

A child who is infused with enough self-esteem can go through their days with little to no worries, bearing the thought that they can surpass whatever life throws at them either at school or within the community. Their positive attitude will affect the way they form relationships and how to interact with other people in specific situations. Helping your children cultivate self-esteem dramatically affects how they will survive adulthood.

 

Furthermore, self-esteem significantly helps children to:

  • Not be intimated by other children and be courageous to be on their own
  • Believe and be firm with their values
  • Arrive at the most suitable decision even under pressure
  • Appropriately interact with people with sophistication and poise
  • Handle life’s challenges and stressors
  • Make the right choices regarding their health
  • Know when to agree or disagree with activities that might negatively affect their well-being

 

In other words, having impassable self-esteem makes you become a better and kinder person – someone who is strong enough to stand by their beliefs and principles notwithstanding critics or pessimists.

 

Developing Children’s Self-esteem

Development of self-esteem starts at home, to children’s healthy and positive attachment to their parents. The moment mothers give birth they are already flourishing their children’s self-esteem by showing them acceptance, affection, and love. The act of proper parenting makes babies feel that they are valued.

 

Giving encouragements and praises are also stepping stones in building your children’s confidence and trust in oneself. Later in life, as your child goes through puberty, you can create structures and rules to hone your children’s confidence while giving them opportunities to arrive at decisions, thereby improving their independence.

If you are dealing with meltdowns, don’t resort to punishment. Allow your child to release their emotions while supporting and validating their feelings. — Ashley Diehl Ph.D.

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What are the other things that you can do to foster your children’s self-esteem?

 

  1. Be Showy. First and foremost, do not withhold love, affection, compassion, and acceptance; these are building blocks to foster your children’s self-esteem. It is imperative that you make your children feel that they matter by always being there and spending time with them. In other words, show up.

 

  1. Identify And Learn From Mistakes. Make your children realize their mistakes and help them learn from their errors by paving different scenarios of possible consequences that may occur. Instead of berating them endlessly, tell them that committing mistakes is integral to positive growth and development because it teaches people valuable lessons in life. More so, show them how they can avoid making those mistakes again and make up for it.

 

  1. Practice Responsibility. Hone your children to become better at handling responsibilities by providing opportunities to contribute at home through assigning chores. Once your children have accomplished the task, give genuine praise to let them know that their presence is vital.

…talk with your child and ask how he/she plans to solve the problem to teach them how to be more rational and solve problems creatively and in a more civilized manner. — Wendy Rice, Psy.D.

  1. Learn At Every Turn. Grab every troublesome scenario or event as a moment of learning. When your children fail to be part of something that they’ve been yearning for, like being part of the sports team or glee club, always impart some wisdom and make them realize that losing is as important as winning. Losing gives your kids the chance to dust themselves off and become better in their craft. The critical takeaway is that they will keep on trying until they succeed.

 

  1. Support Your Children’s Passion. Showing full support is very important in developing your children’s self-esteem for it enhances their talents and skills at something they are passionate about. Whatever your child feels like doing, support him or her and never question nor humiliate them because of their choices – it will only bring them down.

 

Life is a matter of self-discovery and one of the most critical aspects to survive the highs and lows is to have established self-esteem because, without it, your children’s journey will become problematic and unfruitful.