Cultivating Children’s Self-Esteem: Need-To-Know Fundamentals


Self-esteem is a huge factor in the way a person feels and thinks about oneself. People who have established self-esteem carry positive outlook on life, are resilient to conflicts and changes, are accepting of themselves, and most importantly, they are oozing with confidence.


Possessing a high level of self-esteem does not necessarily mean a person is self-centered or arrogant; it mainly says that a person is aware enough about oneself to appreciate his or her worth in taking on any responsibility while not compromising care and respect for other people.




Effect Of Increased Self-Esteem On Kids

Children who have insurmountable self-esteem are generally happy and are efficient at socializing with friends and colleagues. They do not hesitate in helping those who are in need and are more likely to engage in community service or volunteer in charity events. Wherever they go, children with a tremendous amount of self-esteem enjoy social gatherings and are not isolated from people. These children are not afraid to play alone or with other kids in their neighborhood. Their creativity is boundless, and they are not hesitant to share what they think to their family and friends.

A healthy coping strategy would be to start studying early, so she has plenty of time to go over old quizzes and homework assignments, and ask for extra help from the teacher. But if the student is focused on protecting her self-esteem, she won’t do any of those because she won’t want to look or feel “dumb.” — Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D.



The Importance Of Self-Esteem

A child who is infused with enough self-esteem can go through their days with little to no worries, bearing the thought that they can surpass whatever life throws at them either at school or within the community. Their positive attitude will affect the way they form relationships and how to interact with other people in specific situations. Helping your children cultivate self-esteem dramatically affects how they will survive adulthood.


Furthermore, self-esteem significantly helps children to:

  • Not be intimated by other children and be courageous to be on their own
  • Believe and be firm with their values
  • Arrive at the most suitable decision even under pressure
  • Appropriately interact with people with sophistication and poise
  • Handle life’s challenges and stressors
  • Make the right choices regarding their health
  • Know when to agree or disagree with activities that might negatively affect their well-being


In other words, having impassable self-esteem makes you become a better and kinder person – someone who is strong enough to stand by their beliefs and principles notwithstanding critics or pessimists.


Developing Children’s Self-esteem

Development of self-esteem starts at home, to children’s healthy and positive attachment to their parents. The moment mothers give birth they are already flourishing their children’s self-esteem by showing them acceptance, affection, and love. The act of proper parenting makes babies feel that they are valued.


Giving encouragements and praises are also stepping stones in building your children’s confidence and trust in oneself. Later in life, as your child goes through puberty, you can create structures and rules to hone your children’s confidence while giving them opportunities to arrive at decisions, thereby improving their independence.

If you are dealing with meltdowns, don’t resort to punishment. Allow your child to release their emotions while supporting and validating their feelings. — Ashley Diehl Ph.D.



What are the other things that you can do to foster your children’s self-esteem?


  1. Be Showy. First and foremost, do not withhold love, affection, compassion, and acceptance; these are building blocks to foster your children’s self-esteem. It is imperative that you make your children feel that they matter by always being there and spending time with them. In other words, show up.


  1. Identify And Learn From Mistakes. Make your children realize their mistakes and help them learn from their errors by paving different scenarios of possible consequences that may occur. Instead of berating them endlessly, tell them that committing mistakes is integral to positive growth and development because it teaches people valuable lessons in life. More so, show them how they can avoid making those mistakes again and make up for it.


  1. Practice Responsibility. Hone your children to become better at handling responsibilities by providing opportunities to contribute at home through assigning chores. Once your children have accomplished the task, give genuine praise to let them know that their presence is vital.

…talk with your child and ask how he/she plans to solve the problem to teach them how to be more rational and solve problems creatively and in a more civilized manner. — Wendy Rice, Psy.D.

  1. Learn At Every Turn. Grab every troublesome scenario or event as a moment of learning. When your children fail to be part of something that they’ve been yearning for, like being part of the sports team or glee club, always impart some wisdom and make them realize that losing is as important as winning. Losing gives your kids the chance to dust themselves off and become better in their craft. The critical takeaway is that they will keep on trying until they succeed.


  1. Support Your Children’s Passion. Showing full support is very important in developing your children’s self-esteem for it enhances their talents and skills at something they are passionate about. Whatever your child feels like doing, support him or her and never question nor humiliate them because of their choices – it will only bring them down.


Life is a matter of self-discovery and one of the most critical aspects to survive the highs and lows is to have established self-esteem because, without it, your children’s journey will become problematic and unfruitful.