Nowadays, many countries all over the world recognize the validity of divorce. This means that it has become easier for married couples to end their union any time they want. Whatever the reason is, divorce gives spouses the authority to separate from each other on a permanent basis. When this happens, the entire family may turn upside down. The end of the marriage of spouses will not only affect their lives but also the lives of their sons or daughters.
When marriages crumble, it is important for couples to remember they still have a responsibility to themselves and any children the marriage produced. — Mayi Dixon, LPC
Children of Divorced Parents
There is no easy way to handle divorce. No matter how hard a couple tries to make it amicable, the children will always be adversely affected. They may start to feel:
Some people believe in hard-and-fast rules about divorce, like divorce is acceptable in the cases of alcoholism or substance abuse. There are no rules. — Jann Gumbiner Ph.D.
What Should Parents Do?
These emotions can be difficult to handle, especially for kids who are still in their tender years. Because of this, it is important for both the parents to make the children understand why they have chosen to go through divorce. Below is a list of some of the things that the divorcing couple needs to do together:
- Take it easy with the kids. Frustration and anger are always present during a divorce. It can be painful for both of the parties to finally move away from each other. These negative emotions may be expressed through harsh words or actions toward the children. As a parent, this is something that you need to avoid. If you are hurting from the breakup, do not forget that your children are also feeling the same.
- Think of how they feel. Stop being selfish by only thinking of the pain you feel inside your heart. Instead, gather all the strength left in you and deal with it like a mature person would. The more you try to keep yourself together, the better it is for your kids’ wellness. This is a time where you have to consider not only your own emotions but also the feelings of your children.
- Talk to them in a nice manner. Avoid shouting or yelling whenever you want to talk to the kids. That is the last thing that they want to hear from you. Instead, try to talk to them softly. Keep in mind that communication is important during this difficult time for the family. The children are probably shocked with everything. Do not make it more difficult on their part.
Children who learn the art of regulating their emotions are much abler to look beyond themselves and feel empathy for others. Self-regulation helps them become “unselfies.” — Marilyn Price-Mitchell Ph.D.
- Avoid fighting with the other spouse in front of the kids. As much as possible, never fight and argue with your ex-partner while the children are around. The kids may not be able to handle all the negativity. Whenever you want to clarify something with the other spouse, make sure to do it privately.
Recent studies show that children with divorced parents are more likely to become rebellious. The best way to decrease this possibility is to follow the tips mentioned above. Be patient in making the kids understand why the divorce has to take place in the marriage. The first few weeks and months can be highly challenging for everyone in the family. But as the days go by, the kids can start to adapt to the new changes.