I Hate This Lockdown – I’m Losing My Sanity Due To My Toxic Family

I don’t usually rant about stuff, especially if it involves my family. Honestly, I do not intend to talk about them because I don’t see the point of letting others know about my family issues and life struggles. However, I feel motivated to express my thoughts right now because that is a way to get rid of the emotional and mental burden I am currently having. Thus, I want to share my story and hope that others could also learn from my experiences.

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What’s The Issue?

Ever since this COVID-19 began, each member of my family became toxic. I do recognize the stress and all the frustration, though. But what I don’t understand is their attitude towards each other amidst the situation. Most times, I am losing all my patience with their immature traits.

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Understandably, with “no work no pay” policy, I can sympathize with my mother’s agitation towards my dad. My mom is handling all the pressure in the house, and she is trying her best to stay in her balance. We are five in the family, and my mom takes care of us all the time. But sometimes, things can get a little too overwhelming that she breaks down. That’s fine. It’s normal, I guess. But what I don’t like about her is when she finds herself caught up with all the stress, she blames my dad. She forces him to find ways to make things better. And when he can’t do it, she insults him. My mom often throws negative and degrading words out of her mouth. And she doesn’t seem sorry for it. If I were to judge it, that’s not helpful. Not only my mother insinuates future arguments, but she also tears down my dad’s self-esteem.

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As for my dad, I guess people would assume that he’s the victim. But for me, he’s toxic as well. My dad is not irresponsible when it comes to financial support. In fact, he knows he must provide us everything we need, especially during this lockdown. But what I hate about him is he never tries to help my mom. I mean, he knows how stressful it is for her to take care of three children and the house. But my dad often ignores my mom’s requests for help. It is as if he’s telling her through his actions that everything in the house is my mother’s sole responsibility. My father seems tied to the idea that putting food on the table is the only liability he needs to fulfill. Honestly, if I can comment on that, I can say that my dad is somehow immature in handling unpredictable situations.

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Writing this, I was hoping I can never find reasons to complain about my siblings. But apparently, I have a lot of things to say about them. I am the youngest, and being on that birth order is frustrating. Both my brother and sister is a pain in the ass. Instead of helping the family, they are the ones who often ignite the argument inside the house. They believe they have the right to act the way they want. They blame our parents for not having this and that. It’s so unreasonable. No one of them tries to help my dad and mom because they think parents should do everything. They don’t even bother asking our parents if they are okay. They’re both teenagers who don’t put a little care for their family.

People might say I am overreacting, but I am not. Our family is toxic when together, and this lockdown is making everything worse.