Resolving Issues Among Family Members

Conflicts are normal in every family. There will always be days when members of the household would disagree with each other. The reason for the conflicts can come from different factors. Regardless of how big or small the problem is, it is important for every family member to resolve the issue as soon as possible. When these conflicts are not dealt with immediately, there is a high tendency that it could cause a major rift in the family. This is always a common denominator according to


Conflicts Among Family

A family conflict, in its simple terms, simply refers to the quarrel or dispute that exists among its members. It can be between mother and father, brother and sister or parent and child. Other individuals may also be included in this conflict such as nieces, nephews, grandparents, aunts or uncles.


Most experts claim that having family conflicts can be healthy for everyone. However, when it exceeds the normal amount, it can become harmful to all its members. It can even lead to the development of hatred among them. In the long run, it may ultimately result in the break of ties among the kin.


Using a harsh approach or cutting words, versus owning our reactions and feelings and stating what we need, can make all the difference in how our partners respond. — Meredith Shirey, MS, LMFT

Causes of Conflicts

There are many factors that can lead to the formation of conflicts in the family, such as:

  • Difference in views or opinions about a particular topic
  • Difficulty in accepting one’s personal choice
  • Coming of a new member of the family (like having a baby)
  • Transfer of a new home or relocation to a new place
  • A child turning into a teenager
  • Not supporting the wants of the member
  • Imposing one’s own beliefs or principles on others
  • Failure to accept the preferencesof the member

Along with validating, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and seeing the conflict from their perspective can help move a disagreement along to a healthy resolution. — Katelyn Alcamo, LCMFT


How To Resolve It

The truth is that there is no hard and fast rule when it comes to resolving family conflicts. The methods of making peace or amends may differ from one family to another. Here are some of the effective solutions in dealing with the problems:



  1. Listen carefully. Before talking ill will against the other person, make sure that you know about the reasons why he is acting in such manner. Learn how to accept the comments or suggestions of the family member. Avoid reacting right away especially if you have not fully understood his point or argument.

When parents can connect with their children’s experiences and accept their children no matter what they feel, the children experience themselves as worthwhile and loved. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

  1. Try to open up. If some things are bothering you, be certain to inform your family about it. Do not keep all your emotions inside you. Instead, look for a perfect timing to discuss your concerns. Give your loved ones an opportunity to help you feel better.


  1. Stop blaming others. This is one of the common causes for the existence of conflicts in the family. When something goes wrong, it usually becomes easy to pinpoint the blame or responsibility to your siblings, parents or other relatives. It is a sign of immaturity and worse, can even lead to bigger problems among members.



Dealing with a family member is not really difficult as long as you know how to be patient and understanding. In cases where a conflict really arises, make sure to resolve it right away. Do not let the days go by without dealing with the issue as it can only make things more complicated.