According to experts, to attain a happy relationship, couples must boost and fortify the value of unity, protecting it at all cost.
How do couples do that?
- Prioritize Your Marriage
Above anything else, keep your marriage on top of your list of things to give attention to for the entire week or month. Don’t just give whatever is left of your time to your marriage. When scheduling your following weeks, dedicate sufficient amount of time to your partner. Then, start figuring out how to add nonobligatory things like shopping, volunteering, or whatever optional activities.
One of the attitudes mediators develop toward conflict is to perceive it as an opportunity and not merely as a problem. This attitude allows for exploration and creativity, and it can open the path toward transformation and change. — Aldo Civico Ph.D.
Stop saying that you cannot provide ample time to your relationship; if you can commit to work, friends, parents, hobbies, the internet, and even Netflix, you certainly can set aside a portion of your valuable time to the person whom you’ve exchanged vows with. Unless you make your relationship on top of your priorities list, your marriage will never mature.
- Clock-In Regularly
Take it from the biggest, most successful businesses – what do they possess to keep their employees productive, happy, and interested in their jobs? They keep tabs on each other by holding regular meetings that, aside from work agenda, focuses mainly on member concerns and dilly-dallies. Being in a marriage, consider yourself fortunate that you don’t have to listen to discussions of sales and whatnot boringly.
Even when arguments and conflicts go unresolved, when a partner feels understood, they are still pacified and calmed. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.
So, how does regular clock-ins in marriages work?
You just have to do the following tactics to maintain a flowing conversation:
- First, do some appreciation lines. Finding something to compliment about your partner is easy if you’ll just look harder.
- Provide new information; for example, finding out that there’s a modern restaurant nearby that you haven’t tried.
- If you notice that your partner’s in a bad mood, don’t hesitate to ask. Frustrations of the day are such good conversation openers.
- End conversations with hopeful ideations like going on a trip to the beach on one of the weekends.
Practice these clock-in strategies to strengthen trust and communication between you and your partner.
- Contemplate Decisions Based On How It Will Affect Your Relationship
Always keep in mind that every decision you make will affect not only you but also your better-half. Encountering bumps should leave couples questioning whether it is good for the marriage or not, continually considering if the consequences can be good or bad for the future of your relationship. Sometimes, the answer dawns you in the most inopportune times; but, that’s when you’ll know intuitively if your decisions will create stress, slash away precious time, or threaten the foundation of your marriage.
You can help yourself gain the courage to be more daring by nurturing relationships that encourage you to pursue your interests. These relationships can then function as secure bases that support you in your explorations. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD
- Set Acceptable Boundaries
Friends and extended family members must not be given full access to your marriage. There should be a partly impenetrable boundary that separates your marriage from the rest of the world, preventing any interference with your plans and desires. Because sometimes, instead of helping, concerned individuals make things more complicated. But this does not mean that you have to shut them out entirely. Setting boundaries are just there to send a message to other necessary people in your life that there are lines that they cannot just cross. After all, you will need them as your support system in case you or your marriage encounters a rocky terrain.
Surviving struggles within a relationship are not rocket science, but it needs practice and investing yourself solely to make things work. Let counseling be your last step in resolving a problematic area in your marriage. For now, find a way around your hardships by making sure that you strengthen your relationship first, above anything else. Everything after that will flow smoothly.