The Two Parents In Me

I am a mother of two millennials, and I’ve observed how different (not negative) their generations are from mine.  The way they handle finances, how they prioritize traveling, refined foods, and experiences rather than investing in material things, and most importantly how they are endowed with an impressive savior faire (social know-how).

Source: gottman.com

The one good thing I like the most is how they can say and approach negative stuff like mental health issues, sex, and HIV with so much suavity.  During our time, speaking about those topics is a big NO-NO.  We just have to keep those things to ourselves.

The tongue-in-cheek expression, “Do as I say, not as I do,” illustrates the understanding that youth pay a lot more attention to what their parents do than what they say. — Johannes Kieding, LCSW

I’m A Regular Mom, But I’m Cool

My son is a blogger, and so we often travel.   During the holidays, we went for a vacation, and while chilling at the beach, my son asked me, “Mom, could you accompany me to the doctor when we come back to the city?  I need to have an HIV test.”

I was shocked, but I tried my best to hide it.   I faced my son with a smile and plainly answered, “Yes.”

Conflicting Moms In Me

These two conflicting moms inside of me have always been there since I became a mother, the equally engaging traditional and open-minded mom that was very much involved in raising my kids.

Almost every parent goes through these states of mind where they switch from one parenting style to another.   There’s the free-range parent on one end of the spectrum, and then the helicopter parent on the other – but both are within the purview of conscious parenting 

…you can flatly tell your child, “No, you cannot stay out past midnight.” Or you can acknowledge their desire to have more freedom and be with friends while still holding firm to house rules – and to the consequences you will impose if they break those rules. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

Source: babylist.com

 

Helicopter Mom

As my kids are growing up, following house rules and schedules are of priority especially when it comes to doing their homework, playtime, naptime, art time, and TV time.  I want them to grow up to be disciplined and responsible kids.   To some, they may look at it as over-parenting, but to me I just want them to put balance in everything they do, and I want to be involved in all of that.

Free-Range Mom

As they reached their teen years, I know I have inculcated in them discipline, and so I started allowing them to do things on their own and let them have a share in decision making.  They can do things more liberally but still with limits and in the confines of which I think can still be a safe zone.    It is to train them to be street smart and learn a little independence, but somehow inside of me, this is to test them how much they’ve learned from the strict parenting style I did when they were much younger.  This time, I’m learning to trust them although the other mom inside me is rebelling.

Life is filled with opportunities to teach your child right and wrong through “discipline.” We believe that the purpose of discipline is to protect kids from danger and teach them how to become self-disciplined adults. Wendy Rice, Psy.D.

I remained the free-range helicopter mom that has vowed to be the wind beneath their wings.

By the way, the result of the HIV test was a big NEGATIVE – one happy mom here.