You are at the point where you don’t even bother to have a conversation because you know it’s going nowhere and discussions most times ends in a fight. — Maria Baratta Ph.D., L.C.S.W.
Dealing with distressed teenagers not only causes disagreement between parents but can also lead to difficulty in responding to the child’s predicament. If a troubled teenager is causing family relationship interference, parents can always opt for family therapy which is proven to be quite a useful tool in helping not only the teens but the family as a whole.
So what are the substantial lessons that parents can learn from while attending family therapy when dealing and raising a distressed teen?
The Importance Of Connection
No matter how occupied you are or how your day has turned for the worse, always have time to connect with your teens. In raising a troubled teenager, a typical reaction is to be inclined to turn the other cheek and walk away from your teen’s seemingly insignificant issues. However, always remind yourself that it’s during these years that problems are magnified and can immensely affect their well-being and overall performance.
Maintaining a strong and stable connection with your child should be as important as keeping a reliable Wi-Fi or network connection. Exert more effort in achieving efficient and honest communication while striving to preserve a good relationship with your teen.
A central ingredient in authoritative parenting is the ability of the parent(s) to deal with their own feelings and needs in ways that place the best interest of the child first. — Johannes Kieding, LMSW
Teenage years are among the most terrible, most gruesome phases for the majority of students; therefore, it wouldn’t be easy for you or your child to get along and will eventually go head-to-head with each other. But encountering conflicts and disagreements do not necessarily mean that you shouldn’t reach out and spend some quality time with your child just to show how much you care and that you want to help your teen in his or her predicaments.
Don’t Ignore The Signs
With your daily roundabouts, it’s easy to ignore or disregard problems occurring inside the house. Naivety often leads to aggravation of difficulties especially with your teens, which is why it is essential to observe and recognize signs of distress before it ends in disaster. There are four signs that you can take note of:
- Acting out or misbehavior due to underlying problems that require attention
- Engaging in alcohol or drugs
- Defiance of rules
Having an idea when your teenager is in trouble is vital in unlocking the numerous factors that contribute to disturbing changes consistently happening. Parents should realize that underneath their teen’s oppositional or raging behavior is a person who is carrying a lot of pain. Identifying, acknowledging and understanding these signs are helpful in empathizing with your teen’s emotional and mental problems.
Put Yourself In Your Teen’s Shoes
Understanding a person is difficult if you can’t see it from his or her perspective, and that too requires you to be as open-minded as possible. Just because you didn’t experience it when you were young doesn’t mean your teen won’t experience it too.
To effect change and healing, you must learn to interrogate and reject your thoughts and beliefs, even those you are convinced kept you safe, or at least safer, throughout your childhood and still have value today. — Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.
Reframing is an approach that is often utilized by therapists. It lets parents view their teen’s situation or behavior separately from what they’re used to. By doing so, parents’ perspectives are shifted to the real reason why their teens are acting in a particular manner.
Often, teens and parents can become unfastened by merely viewing a situation with fresh eyes; this is usually concluded by parents thinking or acting differently than they did before. And what’s good about reframing is that parents typically respond positively in a way that better acceptance and understanding occurs between both parties.consider speaking with a professional. BetterHelp website is an ideal place to vent to a certified psychiatrist on your preferred schedule. They can assist you personally, with couples, or in family sessions.