When it comes to my child’s education, I want to make sure that I am part of the decision-making process. I guess this is only normal for all parents. As much as possible, I want to help her decide on what course to take as well as the university to attend. There are so many factors to take into consideration.
One of the most important things parents have to keep in mind is that a child leaving home is a big change. They are transitioning from childhood into adulthood. — Wendy Rice Psy.D.
Discussing these matters with my teenager was quite difficult. We had a lot of disagreements about a lot of things. The most significant issue we had was choosing where she would enroll in college. Of course, I wanted her to study in a school that was within our local area. On the other hand, she was interested in going to another state university, which is a thousand miles away from home. After hours of deliberation and talking about it, we both agreed that maybe it is best for all of us to let her decide for her college education.
I have to admit that it was difficult to accept it at first. However, we were able to get through it together. Here are some of the tips I want to share regarding how I sent my teenager to college:
- Listen carefully to what your child has to say. Take note that getting into college is important to your teenager. She needs to know that you support her all the way. Show your respect for her wants by listening to her sentiments or plans about college. Avoid shutting her thoughts as it can lead to more arguments.
When children possess moral courage, they feel inwardly motivated to put empathy into action, despite the consequences. — Marilyn Price-Mitchell Ph.D.
- Help the teenager make a decision. Choosing what course to study or where to go to college can be challenging on the part of your child. This is what I noticed when I had conversations with my daughter, especially about the course that she would take. I knew I had to help her with the selection process so I tried to gather all relevant materials that could guide her. I also collected brochures from different universities. Make sure to do the same thing with your teenager.
- Stop imposing the things that you want to happen. The problem with some parents is that they always want to impose their preferences on their children. This can be intimidating for the teenagers. Remember that your child has her own free will to decide on some issues. Do not deprive her of the opportunity to make some decisions. Instead of telling her what to do, try to listen to her suggestions.
People feel deeply content within themselves and in their relationships when they experience empathy and compassion, can cope effectively with their emotions, and can communicate effectively. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD
- Support the decision no matter what happens. This is probably the most challenging thing that you need to do. Accept the fact that your child is now a grownup who is capable of deciding on what to do with her life. The more you try to contradict her choices, the harder it will become for both of you. Nonetheless, this does not mean that you can give her whatever she wants. It is necessary to check whether your objections are reasonable or not.
The tips listed above were based on my own experience with my daughter. All of these worked perfectly for us, and I hope it does for you, too.